I am a flippin nut job.. I wake up and weigh myself.. then I go pee and weigh myself again.. I get dressed, get the kids up and ready.. and I start thinking about how well my day is going to be. I am going to eat fruits and veggies and drink tons of water.
And then it happens.. I am consumed with thoughts of food.. burger king, pizza, ice cream, cookies, quesadillas... .... .... I then end up in my kitchen and am binging. Maybe my "binge" isn't quite a binge.. maybe it's just "overeating"? I'm not sure...
Today's lunch consisted of:
6 homemade chocolate cupcakes with icing and coconut (1500)
2 english muffins with butter (300)
handful of cheese itz (150)
10 slices of fried eggplant (700)
2,650 calories.. approximately
INSERTED 10/19/13.. um yes self.. 6 freaking cupcakes is most certainly a binge. Let alone all the other crap. Yeesh! I do not remember that day.. nor is it a part of my life anymore.. holy crud.. that's a lot of food!
I skipped breakfast and I prob won't have dinner, but 2650 is still double what my 5'0" frame needs.. I was 119 lbs this morning and that is unacceptable.. I am at my absolute heaviest and I hate it! Me at 110 is normal.. not thin, but not gross either.. just a measly 9 lbs more and I kid you not, I haven't worn jeans in two weeks. I've tried! But they are impossible.
Me at 105 is skinny.. and let's not tell lies here.. I want skinny!!! Not gross skinny! I am very athletic and I take several weight lifting classes a week.. I think sculpted arms is so sexy! My legs are cury.. not straight.. so my "skinny" isn't model skinny.. it's healthy skinny! I mean I could be in the "normal" range of the BMI scale at 97 lbs (maybe even 95, I forget) ... so I'm adding 7-10 lbs more to that..
I have said "tomorrow" a million times.. seriously for like a decade!!!!
A flipping decade of me wanting to eat light and right... and then not doing it.. ten years!!! Ugh....
So, tomorrow is March 1st... and damn it I will reach my goal of 105 lbs by May 1st... I friggen will!!!
And I don't know if anyone will read this..... but just because it is out there... I think it'll motivate me to stick with it...
So each day I will record all of the food that crosses my lips... as well as my weight...
Wish me luck!