Thursday, May 31, 2012

Ethan's butt

Yesterday I was in the bathroom hiding and playing scramble with friends and Ethan knocks on the door and says:

Mommy, my butt hurts.

Um, okaaaaay, what do you want me to do about it?

Kiss it.

Get outta here! I ain't kissing your butt!!

No, not my butt HOLE, just right here.

........... and the best part is.. this isn't even an atypical household conversation.. lucky lucky me..

Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day Mash

Memorial Day BBQ went well.. had a few friends over, we got to catch up and enjoy some yummy food.. all the kids got along.. nice weather.. good stuff..

Frank was at the grill and I told him that I wanted a Boca Burger and that he just needed to heat it up real quick.. and then he put down the real food and oh my word, those hot dogs in all their charred glory sent thoughts of Boca Burgers out the freaking window.. they looked soo good.. nom nom.. and I don't even like hot dogs!

We had so much food leftover, so Frank hooked us up again today.. and again I forgot the potato salad and beans until after we ate.. I have no memory at all.. I blame it on my high school years.. in fact, so does my mother.. I told her the other day she was getting to be like me.. and she replied with "And I didn't even smoke pot!" haha.. coming from a woman who has never done drugs or drank in her life.. it was pretty funny..

My veggie dip was fat free chobani with those powder packets of dip mix.. I used Ranch.. dude, 18g protein, no fat, and only 100 calories for the entire container of dip.. add a mountain of veggies.. and oh my my.. cold and crunchy and flavorful.. I want more..

I attempted the rainbow cake for my first time.. I went with four colors instead of six because I was lazy  rushing, but it came out good.. it tasted even better than it looked.. it was seriously so delish!!

And on a completely random note.. here are some photos I have sitting in my phone..

I think this one works a lot better when they can't see that it's YOU pulling your own hair Ayd..

Do your kids have a goofy face that they do just  to make you laugh?? Ethan one day made a goofball face that sent me and my mom into hysterics.. so of course, he does it all the time now and thinks he's Jim Carrey Jr.

Don't mind the blue chalk.. he walked in from outside and told me he was "trying to be blue all over" then told me to take a picture of him.. total nut job like his mama..

And here's yet another pic of him after dressing himself.. don't mind the red eye.. I forget how he got it.. nothing physical.. more like soap in the eye.. ?? I forget.. Mother of the Year, I know..

The two different socks kill me.. I can't deal with it.. in the house I don't mind, but we don't go out like that.. the two younger ones do it on purpose and think they're hot shit.. this pic kills me.. he is forever pointing with the middle finger.. and the show on tv is The Good Witch on Hallmark.. oh my word they had a marathon that day and I spent 6 hours watching all three movies.. lol I am a total sucker for Hallmark movies! Love love love them..

And yet another totally random note.. I have had an epiphany recently.. I have pretty much been at this weight forever (at least since high school).. and I always thought how I'd be so much prettier, cooler, happier, hipper, etc.. if I was just a little bit smaller.. and then.. I friggen gained like 10 pounds.. well now I lost those ten pounds and am so happy at my original weight that I used to be unhappy at! Ya get all that?? Point is.. perspective is everything!!!! When I was this small last time I didn't appreciate it and wanted more.. but now that I have come down from a bigger size.. I am so happy to be in this body.. I wasted so much time wanting more when what I had was plenty good!

Life is good, but God is great!!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Bon appetit

I successfully stuck to my meal plan for 6 days.. but then went bat shit crazy and ate my weight in junk food on Tuesday.. but that's okay.. I was down 6 lbs!! but the candy bars and donuts brought me back up two more.. and that's okay too! I'm still down 4.. super happy face

Working out has really toned me up lately, so I'm going to focus on that instead. My love handles are almost gone.. and for that I am beyond thrilled.

I thought I needed to look like a personal trainer to feel this confident, but I tell you what.. I am pretty darn close to feeling like a million bucks right about now..

I plan on doing the low cal thing for another week.. but then I am going to focus more on maintaining my weight rather than trying to lose.. I think I'm also going to lighten up on my workout routine.. It's been great, but I don't want to be away from the family so much..

I've been doing an hour of Spin class 4-5 times a week and an hour of Body Pump 2 times a week.. but I think I might drop it down to Spin 3x wk and keep Body Pump at 2x wk.. and being as my Body Pump classes are immediately after my Spin classes.. I'll only be at the gym 3 days a week instead of 5.. much gooder..

Happy week before Memorial Day!!

We are throwing a little bbq for some friends.. and I already have my attack plan for the day.. while everyone else is chewing on high fat/calorie foods.. I'll be noshing on a super yummy boca burger (flame grilled flavor, seriously takes like a whopper) on a 100 cal flat bread.. add mustard, ketchup, lettuce, tomato, onion, and relish or pickles and you will be eating just as good as everyone else for only 250 calories!! They can have the chips, I'll stick to fruit salad and the veggie tray.. and for dessert.. I'm making a cake for everyone else,  but I'm having sugar free chocolate pudding topped with fat free cool whip.. I call it a mud pie..

Life is Good, but God is Great!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow

Ok, so I just keep gaining weight.. not huge amounts, but I have consistently gained 1 - 2 lbs every single month for the past year.. for a total of 15 lbs.. nothing major, I know.. except I've been trying to lose some and not only has that not happened.. but the freaking scale is going in the wrong direction..

My problem is that I eat what I want, when I want it.. which used to work just fine until I turned 30 and my metabolism started malfunctioning.. and my other problem (and here's the real kicker) is that I'm only 5'0" so the amount of calories that I should be eating is too little for my food loving self..

I'm sure this sounds familiar to most women:

I need to just suck it up and eat light for a bit and lose some of this weight..

30 minutes later...

Screw it! I look good for being 33 and having 3 kids!

chomp chomp chomp

Crap! Why'd I do that?! Great, another day down the drain.. Ok for real  this time, tomorrow I start the new me.

Why is eating less (or healthier) so gosh darn hard?? I just don't get it.. I am a pro when it comes to diet and health.. I spend hours on the computer every single day gaining the tools I need to be well informed.. I've taken many nutrition classes in college, I have friends and colleagues who are certified nutritionists, I really am quite knowledgeable in the area..

But having the information doesn't make saying no the oreos yesterday any easier.. I work out 6 or 7 hours a week.. and my workouts are quite intense.. I walk away soaking wet.. I chug water all day every day like it's nobodies business.. I got it down.. except for the whole my-diet-is-made-up-of-pure-shit thing..

But my millions of followers.. TODAY IS SERIOUSLY THE FRIGGEN DAY!!!

I am saying good bye the emotional eater within.. I am tying her up and throwing her in the dungeon.. asta la vista baby..

Spirit Guide is now running this ship!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

You are not wearing that!

Ethan comes downstairs every morning fully dressed in jeans or as he calls them "button pants" (refuses to wear sweats or non button pants) and sneakers.. drives me nuts for my kids to wear their shoes in my house, but it's a losing battle.. anywho.. he's looking more and more like a freak as he gets older..

I forget why he was so pissy in this one.. but I am 99.99999% sure it's something along the lines of me not letting him get Mr. Softee or play my laptop or have candy fro breakfast..

 Ethan wear do you want this tattoo? On my FACE!! Where do you want this one? On my FACE!!

This was at like 8 oclock in the morning.. can you see the lime green stains on his shirt?? Um yeah, he got a hold of the food dye and "colored" my white cabinet, his clothes, his hands, my floors, my sink.. and for the record.. it was on Daddy time..

Another morning pose.. look at them, they still have sleepy eyes.. he's so weird with the hats.. its May in NJ.. LOL

Snow boots??!?!

But here's Ayden, so maybe it isn't just Ethan..

Ma! Take a picture of me. Do I look cool? Yes Ayd, super cool! No more response, but his expression say "I knew it." 

Oh no he didn't!!!

I must've jinxed myself yesterday.. ya know when I was saying what a great guy the hubs is.. because he was anything but nice this morning.. I am so mad right now.. I put my cell on vibrate (and then hid it from myself so I don't check it 23x every second) and unplugged the home phone.. oh yes I did..

I often make him sandwiches for lunch.. I know, I know, best wife ever... yeah mm hmm.. that's who I am.. you know who heeee  is.. hes the guy who opens the fridge before work only to have a container of yummy chicken chili fall on the floor.. didn't even open though.. I mean pick the thing up and put it back.. too hard?? apparently, for him, it is..

He drops the eff bomb.. as if someone intentionally set him up.. then I hear him say something like "Oh, ok, how about I leave it like that?!" all grumpy..

Oh no he friggen didn't!!!!!

I go in the fridge to see what he did to get my creamer.. and the *(&#^#$%#^% left the container all cockeyed so that it has a very high chance of falling again!!! And my friends, WHO IN THE &%$% is going to clean that shit up when me or the boys opens the door and it falls and likely spills this time????

Can you believe that shit?!?!? Like dude, obviously one the kids left it in a weird position.. it didn't spill.. get over it.. but set me up to have a disaster happen? Imma kill em..

Oh and need I say homey can starve at work for the next few weeks.. cause the sandwich maker just quit..

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Mother's Day

I'm going to be honest here.. not that I'm normally not! LOL But I'm going to tell a little secret..

When I used to work at this one particular job 6 or 7 years ago.. my boss would often give me off the books cash bonuses.. sometimes $200, often $500, and once or twice $1,000!! Talk about having a sweet job!

Well, when I would be blessed to get one of these bonuses I would LIE to my husband and tell him I got less.. usually half of what I really got. Now mind you I put the other half into a savings account that he didn't know existed for emergencies.. I swear! And if I ever did decide to dip into it, it was always for bills, or family dinner's out.. I never went shopping or anything like that..

But I just felt like we needed an emergency fund.. and I thought if I told him, he'd go spend it on tattoos or something..

Exhibit A:

This was years ago.. but yesterday I came home from the gym and there was $120 on the counter.. mind you our savings has long been depleted and me working very part time means we are broke mudder fackos.. so I'm all "Woo hoo, who's money honey?!" And he tells me some lady at his job asked him to do some side work and gave him the loot.. I"m thinking good for him! And he goes on to tell me she tried to give him $150 but he wouldn't take it and even when she said $120 he still felt she was offering too much, but she wouldn't let up, so he took it..

How friggen sweet is he? He's always like that.. good soul..

So of course I'm thinking.. shit, I could use a 20 bill.. and he says "You want $60?" I felt so ashamed for all the times I wasn't as honest..

I told him I would certainly take $60 but that I was going to buy much needed new gym sneakers and that would be his Mother's Day gift to me..

Taaa Daaa.. I lurve them.. and him..

Oh, but I did also add that my "other" Mother's Day gift was for me to do absolutely nutten next Sunday.. ; )