Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Ash Wednesday

So my fast didn't start yesterday. My mom asked me to go out to breakfast, we haven't been in a while, and then.. it was just down hill from there. Today, however, was much gooder. I had a Clif Bar around 1:30pm and then 10 chips w/ salsa around 5pm. Just fed the kids some ooey gooey warm waffles and was tempted to go for round 3, but so glad I just walked away instead.

I know I didn't totally abstain from food, but I didn't really set out for that. I contemplated it, but even just drastically reducing my intake will give my body a much needed rest.

Gavin came to me last night and asked if I knew where his Rosary beads were. I gave them to him and then he asked if I could teach him how to say it. I wrote down all the prayers and he came home after school so proud that he had memorized them all. And I must say, I am super proud too!


I died my hair the other day and went from love to hate in a matter of days (surprise! surprise!) I have had mousy brown hair with highlights for the past ten years or so and I was just sick of it. Every time I see a woman with super dark brown hair I get jealous/envious.. but in a good way - if there is such a thing. I just mean I don't get angry, I get like "Ohhh, girlfriend. Nice hair!" =) So I finally took the plunge and died mine super dark. Except, from past experience I know that I don't like plain Jane boring hair on me. So I decided to do one peek a boo highlight under my bangs and one under each ear.

So today I bought a highlighting kit to break up the dark brown.. and then in typical me fashion, I immediately decided I did not like the highlights and dyed it right back to dark brown. So this is what I still look like.. after damaging my hair for no reason at all.

I really need to find out how to do my eyebrows.. I plucked them in high school and they never grew back. My mom did the same thing and hers never grew back either. So weird. I don't know anyone else who has had that happen to them. Anywho. Gavin wants me to take him to church and I can make 7pm mass if I hurry!


Monday, February 20, 2012

Pinnacle of Poor Eating

Have you ever joked about something.. to mask an insecurity?? Today, while mindlessly doing that, I was kind of shocked into reality. I have a tendency to not eat until the afternoon, at which time I gorge eat about 1,000 to 1,500 calories (sometimes more) in one sitting.. I stuff myself to the gills then pretty much don't eat until way late at night and then consume 500 - 1,000 more calories. I hardly cook dinner because I am so stuffed by then and I obviously have no appetite.. so I usually just whip up something quick and easy for the kids. Frank is a complete enable of all this because he prefers to not eat much after 3 or 4pm. The fact that the boys prefer mac and cheese or chicken nuggets doesn't help either.

So um, yeah, anyways... that's my eating pattern 9 times out of 10. Well, one of my employers is a health nut and he always comments on how I don't ever bring anything to eat to work - I work from 8:30am - 1:30pm for him two days a week. I told him I am a binger and that I like to give my body a break in the mornings. So lately, he's been on my case, offering me food, or asking what I ate the day before.

Today, he offered me these super yummy crackers that he knows I love. I politely declined. He made a joke and I told him how I just had 5 slices of Dominos pizza before coming in (I was babysitting that morning so I didn't go in until 3:30pm)

His reaction was scary. He looked disgusted and shocked. Disgusted because Dominos is complete crap to him (he is Mr. oatmeal, organic fruit, and protein shakes.. did I mention he is 72?!?!) and shocked that my little body can down such large portions of food.

He said "You should enter that hotdog eating contest!" and I busted out laughing.. and he looked at me with such a serious face and said "I bet you'd win."

But he wasn't busting my chops at that point. He was really, truly, genuinely surprised that I would do that to my body. I kinda feel like crap because of it. I know that it isn't healthy. I know that it's actually quite unhealthy. I'm overloading my body with low quality, nutrient deficient crap and way too much of it at one time. Not cool.

I woke up today and my face didn't look right. My eyes were oddly swollen. I just chucked it up to it being morning and age. Well, I didn't look into the mirror again until bed time and my eyes were just as swollen if not worse! There went my morning theory. It literally happened overnight. Then as I was looking in the mirror I realized my cheeks and chin looked a bit off too. My cheeks were swollen as well and my chin had 10 little red spots. Not pimples, but sort of like them. I mean they could have been, but no heads and I can't feel them, but little red dots.

So depressing. I concluded it's probably because of salt. I use tons of salt. People who think they use a lot of salt always comment on my salt intake. "Wow Nicole. I like salt, but damn girl."

I always thought since I drank a few cups of water every day I was flushing it all out. Genius I know.

Did I mention after my 5 slices of Dominos for lunch, I then had a brownie with a scoop of ice cream on top, and the remaining 3 slices of my pie (that's pizza pie for all the non Jersians) for dinner. Oh and an orange. That's what I ate today. A whole freaking pie, a brownie with ice cream, and an orange.*rolls eyes*

And then to top off my shitastic day, I got on the scale.. don't ask.

Let's just say it's time to change my shit up. My poor organs need a break. Seriously. I am going to do a detox cleanse. I don't care what my mother or anyone else thinks. Call it starving; call it stupid. My body can use a vacation and that is what I'm giving it. Not sure of all the details, though I have a pretty good idea of what I'll do and for how long. I obviously can't go running on empty, so either I'll skip it or eat something light on those days. We'll see...

But yeah, today is the pinnacle.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Lazy Days Rule

I have been vegging out in bed on my laptop so much lately. I told Frank last night that people who stay in bed all day are typically depressed, but that I'm as happy as a clam! I LOVE my life. I love my family, my marriage, my running, my warm cozy bed with my cat curled up next me. It's the best!

Buuuut, I need to stop. Between work, the kids, the hubs, and the house I'm a busy gal. And any time spent chilling is time that I am not spending productively. So starting tomorrow here shortly, I'm going to clean my house, go running, start my SIL's baby booties and THEN, then I will crawl back up in this super cozy bed of mine and google my heart out.

Or I'll read my Joyce Meyer's book that I've had for years, seriously at least five, and have never even cracked open. I started it last night and it was pretty great.

Today's Todos:

Run 5 miles
Clean house, truck, dog, and children


Thursday, February 16, 2012

6 miler!!

I ran 6 miles this morning in a few seconds shy of 60 minutes.

And then, I got choked up and almost cried because I was disappointed in myself.

I can stress enough that I. am. a whacko!!

Ya see, I set out to run 7. I also was hoping that my time would've been slightly faster. But thankfully the hubs brought me back to reality. I mean I haven't run 6 miles ever. I ran a bunch of 4.5s in the Army and our road marches were insanely long, but that's marching with tons of gear on your back and boots on your feet (and weapon in hand ; ) Totally different (but just as hard) than running.

Can I call it "running" because I'm really just "jogging". But that's what people call it, right?

But anyways.. yeah so I was so ticked that I stopped and had to walk at mile 6.. and that my time was so long. But after talking with the hubs he made me feel like a champion! And I am gosh darn it! It's my day off, no kids here, I could've done anything and I chose to jog run my tail off. *pats self on back* hehe

Definitely need a few days off after 6 miles. My hiney is sore and of course my legs. By mile 4 I was spent. I was soooo thirsty and not that I was hungry, but I definitely shouldn't run longer runs on an empty stomach. My body was weak. I think if I had 2 or 3 bites of a protein bar and some water I would've made it to mile 7. But I'm new at this. Live and learn. Today was my longest run ever and I learned some new things as well. Nothing else to it.

Frank said "Babe (or maybe Hon) you just ran a 10K. Good job!" I heart that man of mine.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

5 miler

Distance: 5.11 miles
Time: 0 hr 49 min 26 secs
Average pace: 9:40 min/miles
Calories: 439

We recently got our income tax return.. I had such grand plans for my chunk of change.. oh the plans.. and then.. shit came up.. and my plans were over.. before they even began..  hehe.. oh well.

One of the splurges I was ganna buy was a Garmin running watch.. ta daaaa:

This watch is amazing.. not only does it track your overall time, it uses GPS to keep track of each individual mile's pace. It tells you the elevation you ran, your average pace. It's just a great tool for tracking your progress. But, being as I already spent too much money, I really don't wanna drop $100 on this bad boy.

And now, I don't have to! My Droid broke and I had to buy a new phone, so I got the iphone 4s, which I must admit, I wasn't a fan of at first. But only because it was new and different and I wasn't use to it. But now that I'm getting the hang of it.. I can understand the iphone craze.

One of the apps Log Your Run does exactly what the Garmin does. Oh my word, seriously?! I feel like the luckiest person ever. I got a new phone, and since it plays music it's like having an ipod touch, and now it's like having a new Garmin too.. The app is also available online so I can log in from my lap top and see my results as well. This has been a great great find!

Did I mention that I haven't ran 5 miles since I was in Army.. and that I got out of the Army in 2001.. um yeah. I was a bit nervous attempting it, but I figured worse case I'd just do that run/walk dance that people do. You know the one where they look like they are running, but they might as well be walking because they are moving just as slow. Yeah, that one. But, I didn't have to.. I made it the entire time just trucking along at a 9.4 minute mile. Which isn't fast by any means, but it's a good pace for me, for now.

And now, I'm in bed. ha!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Run #3

Ran 3 miles in 29 minutes yesterday and then again today. In the snow. : )

Lately I've been on a dominos pizza kick.. oh my my.. but today I craved something else. Running! I couldn't believe it. I was driving home from Wal Mart with the kids, a little stressed out, and I just couldn't wait to run in the snow. It was like a test. Flakes falling from the sky is a pretty good excuse to not go running, but I just couldn't stand making another excuse. We walked in the door and I ran upstairs to get dressed for it and left before I could even think about it. I felt amazing! I saw my neighbor waving as she drove by. My friend's husband rolled down his window and shouted "I'm telling Jeannette you're running without her!" with his very think Irish accent. It was sooo cool to be that girl. It takes your mind off of everything!

All I kept thinking was You go girl.  : )  It's nice being able to be proud of yourself for something. Especially to the point where you think about it several times a day. I mean, I am proud of who I am as a wife, but I don't think about it too often. But running.. it makes me smile a dozen times a day.

Too bad I can't be proud of cleaning my house. Because it is in need of some serious TLC. I keep saying tomorrow, but shit keeps coming up. I have got to stop delaying the inevitable and not eat or sit down until a humongous chunk is crossed off my To Do List.. but not today. We'll do that "tomorrow."



Saturday, February 4, 2012

Half Marathon Training

3 miles / 30 minutes

Well, I signed up for the Long Branch Half Marathon. Not that I am a runner by any means though. LOL I was tempted to shoot for the full marathon, but Frank's doubt kinda scared me. He gave me the look that said "Dang. How do I tell her she really shouldn't do that without being rude?" Props for trying to be supportive though honey.

I just figured that if I signed up and put my money where my mouth is, then I'd probably start running to train for it. Otherwise I knew my exercise regime would stay at non-existent. And if you are going to run in a marathon, or "half" in my case, this is the one you want!! It's right on the ocean and it's terrain is as flat as a pancake. I have always lived near the ocean and it's my go-to place when life gets hectic and I need to reconnect with God. It's going to make the miles fly.

The only thing I am not thrilled about is running alone for my training. I have an above average fear of being attacked. I tried looking for running groups in my area, but it didn't pan out. None of my friends exercise, I say I don't exercise and that's only because I used to be hardcore into Spin class and haven't gone since November, but in general I get my workouts in - sometimes more than others. But my friends never work out, like seriously not since gym class. Ha!

Except for one girl who I wasn't too close with in school, or the decade after that, but for about 5 years now we have become close. I joined the Army at 18, she joined the Marines. We both got married as a teen on the same day! May 23, 1997, had a baby 18 mo later, and was divorced a year after that. And then we both met our current husbands, got married (again!) and have been with our spouses for ten years! Eerily similar while not even being friends at the time.

Anywho, I said to Frank she was my only option - and boy if I don't love that girl, she said yes! So at 8am I drove to her house and we took off. We ran 3 miles in 30 mins and we didn't stop once.

Not sure if I can count on her for my entire training, but I'm ganna try!!