Sunday, January 29, 2012

Great Kid, Poor Grades

I must be the queen of optimism. Because I am going through a pretty rough patch in my life.. and all I keep saying (and wholeheartedly believing) that it's just a season and this too shall pass. I just can't wait for it to be over. Maybe it's the winter? Being stuck in the house, and especially with the kids being stuck in here with me. 

I am just SO overwhelmed lately that I cry. I have always been the do-it-all kind of wife and mother. Half by choice to let my hard working husband have some relaxation at the house, and half because I have some OCD tendencies that make it impossible to watch someone else do something not up to my standards.

But this has always pretty much worked for our family (especially Frank ; ) But lately, I can not deal. Nor can I get anything done!

Not that I have any readers, but if someone somewhere happens to stumble upon my blog.. and you are a teacher, or a psychologist who specializes with children.. throw me a bone please!!!

Here are my issues as of late:

Gavin is 13, super kind, quiet, loving, respectful, great kid. However, he doesn't pay attention in school so when he comes home with work to finish or homework he doesn't understand it. I then have to reteach him the material. I am not sure if he really just doesn't get it because the teacher didn't speak his language or went too fast.. or if he just completely didn't listen to her/him because he was chatting. Regardless, I now have to google it, learn it, and then teach it to him. Should I being doing this?? Also, he takes FOREVER, like 3 hours to write a short essay. So after tutoring and homework dinner - if he has any reports due he is up until 11pm. Should I force him to complete it because he takes so long?? Or do I set a time limit and say you have 2 hours, if you can't complete it, you will have to deal with the consequences of failing.

Now, before you give me any logical answer - we've tested him for a learning disorder (none), we have him with a tutor, I have tried a million times explaining the basics of writing, to write how you speak (because he speaks well). My husband, my mother, I spoke with his teachers for the past several years, and I went to the school counselor.

All his teachers agree with me - if he tried he could easily get a B. I have concluded it is a lack of confidence. I think he thinks he can't do it, so he sits there in a stupor not sure what to do. I think one day the switch will flip and he will see what everyone else has seen all along - that it really isn't that hard and that he can totally do it!

But, every year I keep waiting and yesterday he turned 13 and it's still yet to come. Will it ever?? I feel I have failed him and that is why the tears have been flowing lately. Did I friggen yell too much? Help too much? Help too little? And regardless of the past because he is a great kid who is happy and feels loved (so the past can't be that bad) the point is what do I do TODAY and tomorrow????

Do I overly help him to ensure he passes? Or is that unhealthy? It's just sooooooo hard to see him fail. I need prayer.

1 comment:

  1. Hi! I stumbled across your blog...and thought I would leave a comment. It sounds like you are really proactive and working hard to help him be successful. I am wondering if you met with his teachers and put it back on them (ie: what are they doing for him?) as he is potentially an at risk student. What are the teachers going to do to help him during class to accomodate him? And no they don't HAVE to neccesarily accomodate him being that he doesn't qualify for special ed, but I certainly would hope that they would assemble a team to intervene to help him...and involve him in the process so he has responsibility in it as well. That's my two cents...take it or leave it. :)I hope that things get better. I know it's hard.