Friday, August 5, 2011

Whiney Hiney Therapy Session

I find that I don't blog or paper journal unless I'm (A) pretty happy with life or (B) so utterly desperate for help that I can't even sleep.. but whenever life is in the middle of the road - as is often the case.. I don't feel the desire or motivation to blog..

So um anyways! LOL Been pretty stressed lately.. I have been unemployed for the past several years.. going to school and taking care of the kiddos.. but I had my Army money still coming in (so long as I was enrolled in college) but I graduated in May and we lost that chuck of change.. and it was a decent amount.. $700 a month.. so the past few months have just been so stressed due to finances.. I am a budgeter and not a spender (unless we have extra after all the bills are paid)..

So on paper (or Excel as I use) it seemed doable.. lighten up on the groceries, no eating out, no getting my nails done, etc..

But in reality, gas and food are freaking expensive!!! We went thru our little savings and have sadly fallen behind.. and the control freak that I am is not taking it too well.. she may or may not have cried this morning.. ha!

But actually, that crying fit was because I came to the decision that I must go back to work full time.. sniffle sniffle..

Ethan starts preK this September M-F from 8:20-2:20 so I was all about getting a part time job.. I mean I have to! But my mom's old place that she recently retired from only needs a full time girl.. no part time positions available.. so it's all or nothing.. and nothing is not an option.

I mean, I guess it is an option.. I work off the books (shhh!) but I only do about 10 hours a week and I would need to do at least double that.. and if I'm getting everything done in 10 why would he pay me for another 10.. lol.. sigh..

Ho hum..

And then!!! After I'm all sad about my poor baby who has never been away from me having to spend 40 hours at school.. I realized I don't even have that full time job yet.. I went from being in hysterics about it.. to begging God for it! (Wanna help me beg God for it? Please.)

Sigh.. yeah, very emotional and stressful time for me.. but just me.. because Frank is all "Don't worry about it hon. Don't work. We'll be fine." which is very kind, but also very unrealistic.. I mean we can't just go on not paying some bills.. but he's just like that.. *rolls eyes* haha kidding hon!

So um yeah.. I'm bugging over here.. And let's not even think about back to school clothes because that has been compartmentalized into the not happening bin. But they'll be fine, they have plenty of clothes and new sneakers that my mom bought a few months ago (that were in no way meant for the upcoming school year, but too bad, because I hid them in the closet) I got them all their supplies and book bags.. oh crap I need to get Ayden a lunchbox still..

Ahh.. I'm all over the place.. but this is totally therapy for me right now..

Oh, just thought of this pic I sent my girlfriend today:

Caption read: Screwwwww meeeee : (
(except not "screw")

In my defense.. the entire rest of my house was neat and tidy as it usually is.. minus the random toy or blanket or whatnot from the kids.. lol.. AND also in my defense.. hahah... the dishes in the drainer and on the coutertop are clean just drying.. I had a sad day give me a break.. ; )

And a few hours later.. I sent this pic to another friend:

Caption read: Kids dinners ready!

Yeah I'm a riot I know..

Anybody like Scrabble??? I love all puzzles.. there's a wannabe Scrabble app that you can download.. it's called "Words with friends" and you can play with random people or your friends.. no time limit!!! So you can do a word when u have a moment and then not go back to the game until hours later or days.. it's soooo cool.. I'm playing as I type this.. cause incase my head wasn't already in competition for being the most severely ADDed of all the ADDs I'm also playing scrabble.. my name is Girl Child if you wanna get yo butt whooped : )

I really wanna keep going with this therapy session.. but I know I must stop.. now.

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Ok I just clicked "Publish Post" but I must must must tell myself this for future laughs..

We have a 3 bedroom home.. My room where me and the baby sleep (Frank sleeps downstairs - he stays up late and needs the tv on.. I go to bed early and need it off) then the other two boys share a bedroom..

BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH TOO AFRAID TO SLEEP ALONE..

Not to mock my children, but Gavin is almost 13.. is that normal?? LOL Yeah, we found this out because since the baby always crashed in my room.. I decided that the 3rd bedroom was going to waste and that I should deck it out and give it to Gavin since he's the oldest.. I painted it gray with maroon and white trim.. stuck a bunch of skater decals all over the place.. hung up cool posters.. I even use skateboards as his shelves..

Well he kept "letting" Ayden sleep in his new room.. something I thought he'd be totally against.. It's MY room, get out.. nope.. he let him, over and over and over.. for weeks I wasn't putting two and two together.. then he said it.. "Mom, can I move back into my old room?"

WHAT.. I just put all this work and effort into a kickass room and you wanna move out??? Okay whatever.. can't make the kid be afraid..

So now lately Ayden's all "Mom, can I move in?" Which he is just as scared as the other one..

So I told him yesterday if he slept in there alone from now until Monday, he could have it. Lights off at 9, tv off at 11.

I go in this morning and the tv is on.. hrm.. fell asleep before 11 or too afraid to shut it off??

So tonight I emphasize no tv after 11.. he must've thought I said 10 because he just came knocking on my door with tears "I don't want my own room." hahaha...

Freaks.. Just like their mother.. I'm a skeerdy too.. of bugs.. the dark.. strangers.. LOL