Pardon the Bi-Polar-ness of my mind.. I've been "diagnosed" by my father (truck driver NOT dr.. and a captain I had in the Army.. no wait.. he thought I had Grave's disease.. however you spell it.. and he wasn't a dr either) um, so yeah.. ha!
I am a complete mess lately right now.. I had a few really good weeks.. I was chill.. not pigging out all day every day.. I wasn't getting bothered by the normal things that kids do.. it was so nice!! Then two weeks ago I just fell back into my old ways.. eating like I wasn't going to see food ever again.. screaming at the kids like an absolute lunatic.. I gave them all spankings instead of taking things away or giving them chores like I'd much rather.. then because of these actions I am drowning in guilt and failure-ness..
It totally sucks ass..
I need a mind, body, and soul detox.. I really do.