Saturday, November 27, 2010

Fall 2010 update

Update of my little nook in the world..

Frank started working at Morgan two weeks ago.. this weekend was his first time on-call.. he had to go in last night.. and again this morning.. but.. that just means a bigger paycheck.. our weekends are usually spent lounging around.. so no plans got disrupted.. other than cancelling.. err.. rescheduling.. going to see the new Harry Potter flick..

Thanksgiving was AWESOME.. except for my being sick.. my mom cooked.. as always.. and it was amazing!!!!.. as always.. =) Frank's parents and brother Bill came to visit.. and Jaime and Ariana stopped by.. I was sick as a dog though.. double pink eye infection.. bad cramps.. sore throat.. lost my voice.. couldn't stop coughing.. and I was throwing up.. went to the ER this morning.. not for one particular symptom per se.. just kinda got scared that SO MANY things were wrong with me.. but other than the pink eye and an upper respiratory infection.. all is well..

Last Thanksgiving we woke up to only half the house having electricity.. and of course the fridge (with all that yummy food in it did NOT).. the guy came and had it all back on within a few hours.. but for those few hours.. of cords running this way and that.. man oh man.. did it make me appreciate the convenience of have electricity!!!!! Then this year.. I was sick as a dog with no voice.. and again.. made me appreciate the little things in life that I take for granted every single day..

Ordered my mom a really nice jewelry box for Christmas.. since her's was stolen in a break in a few months ago.. I wanted to get a her super nice one.. because she just does SO MUCH for my family all year long.. I found one that was gorgeous for $125.. then I found it on another website for $100.. then after I kept searching I found it for $85!! And I was planning on a $50-$60 budget for it anyways.. so I said hell with it.. I'll spluge and get the most gorgeous one I've ever seen in my life.. but before I hit the purchase button.. I googled "promo codes" for the store and got a $10 off coupon!!!!! So now it was only $75 with Free shipping because I always use websites that offer little to no charge for shipping..

Then it comes.. and it has a friggen knick on the inside cover.. you can't see it while the top is closed.. but once you open it.. it's an obvious knick and for the money I paid.. I was definitely exchanging it.. (oh, and I also only order from companies who offer free return shipping!) I went to the website.. and it asked me a few questions about why I wanted to exchange/return the product.. it asked if the package was damaged, the product, or both..

I clicked on the option for product only..

and guess what?!?!? They refunded my husband's pay pal account.. WITHOUT having me send it back to them!!!!!!! I guess because they'd be paying for me to send it back and then again for them to send me a new one.. and it's a pretty heavy jewelry box..

So um yeah, I got a hundred dollar jewelry box FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Score! lol

Ok.. baby's in the pots and pans.. and my house needs some TLC.. ta ta

Monday, November 15, 2010

My thoughts are consuming me
She's been stuck in fast forward for weeks now
Glimpses are seen sporadically
But nothing makes sense
The nonsensical mayhem is causing aggression
but much worse is the guilt or is it shame
Who am I
Why are you so angry all the time
The kids can't dance or be goofy? Really?!
It bothers you that much
You suck
You and your ridiculous time outs
*rolls eyes*
Here's a hint: any progress?
Take the time to talk
kindly and calmly
They only act as they see
I suck
Ok, a bit on the dramatic side.. but I'm really not in a good mental place.. I am annoying at everything.. I'm not in the mood to clean or really do anything.. including taking a shower and getting ready.. it's like a chore..
The kids are disobedient.. day in and day out.. I feel like.. what's the point? Why am I spending all my time and energy on these kids.. when none of it is working out.. I tell them the same things every single day.. dozens of times a day.. WHY?? Why waste any more breaths..
I was cleaning Gavin's room today and found a piece of paper with unpleasant words on it.. I would have NEVER thought Gavin would write those words.. I was shocked to say the least.. and sad.. and disappointed.. and scared..
I feel as tho I am a failure.. like Ayden not listening is a report card of my mothering.. and his not listening is a big fat F every single day.. I tell him the same stuff every day.. don't jump on the couch.. calm down.. give the toy to your brother.. and when I talk to him.. he smiles at me.. as if it's funny.. then I send him in time out and he whines.. and cries.. and gets angry.. and then.. he gets out and is doing the same exact thing minutes later..
Am I supposed to be hitting my kids? Cause I don't.. I mean I have.. but I feel as tho that's something that parents who lose their temper do.. and I feel so bad for their ego.. it's so embarrassing.. I mean Gavin's 11.. that's weird.. and I don't just wanna hit Ayden.. cause Gav's too old and Ethan's too young.. so I don't..
I do time outs.. but I think I'm done with them.. my kids could and often do live in the corner.. they're either all angry or they don't care and they're playing with their hands or whatnot..
I don't know.. just feeling like I failed my kids.. but I can hardly keep myself on track.. I can't in fact.. I'm always carrying over chores from the previous day that I didn't do.. or getting angry and being snotty.. how can I expect my kids to act any better?
I'm due soon.. maybe I'm just hormonal.. cause I'm normally not so blue.. *sigh*

Friday, November 12, 2010

How Not to be a Good Parent - take 3632465

I really need to take some video of the baby.. I said that about him scaling the gate at 8 months.. and never got it.. and I can't remember exactly.. but I'm positive there were a few other great photo ops I missed.. the current one I want to capture his his horse dance.. if anyone starts singing he does this little prance thing that is uh dorable!!

What's NOT adorable is him telling me to shut up.. or rather SHUP! yeah.. I'm still baffled that my mother and I actually taught him to say that.. like.. did I NOT learn my lesson with the other two??

Us: Saaaaaay "NO!"

Him: "NO!"

Us: *giggling* "He's baaaad!" *more giggiling*

I was not, however, giggling when I was sweetly talking to him while holding him in my arms and he yelled "SHUP!"

I was like "WHAT?! Don't tell mommy shut up!"

"SHUP!" was what I got in return..

He did say sorry though.. cause I wouldn't talk to him until he did..

Although.. he did say "Unt uh!" the first dozen times I said "Say sorry! You don't tell mommy shut up!"

My bad..

Oh, then later on he told me to, yet again, shup! and I gave him the oh-n-u-didn't look.. and he goes "shhh" and put his finger over his mouth.. as if THAT is so much better..

The older two are doing well.. nothing new to really report.. Gavin's getting so big.. I just wanna pause him eternally in this stage of life.. he's on the brink of being a teenager.. and I'm really ganna be sad to see his immature self disappear..

He is just such a great kid.. he always wants to talk to me.. I hope that never changes.. I will really be sad if he turns into the teen who distances himself from his parents.. like I did.. but my parents were different.. they weren't into talking.. I am.. and when I'm not.. I pretend to be!

Man.. starting to feel bad.. i kinda laid into him tonight.. he was mouthing off in class so I punished him and he just didn't seem to mind.. he's all dancing around the house.. happy as a clam.. I want him to be a bit bothered that he's punished..

Parenting is friggen impossible.. at least always successful parenting is..

You wanna know a secret.. a secret I haven't and won't even tell my husband??

I felt so bad for yelling at Gavin.. i let him off punishment.. EEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW I shouldn't have.. but I was rude and wanted to make right my wrongs..

I don't know.. I am definitely of the mindset to appoligize to anyone.. even children.. if you wronged them.. and I definitely snapped at Gavin because I was cranky and not because of anything he did.. at all!

Ok.. I have to stop thinking about this.. probably wrong thing to do.. but I did it.. it's over.. and I don't wanna think about it anymore.. moving on..

Almost finished reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.. the first two were WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better.. but of course I gotta finish this one and see how it all ends..

ta ta