I'm in a radical mood.. as in.. I want to radically change my life!
Ya ever feel like that?? I am a bit.. crazy.. and I often feel this way.. almost every night.. ha! I am ALWAYS buying new journals (its definitely my #1 addiction, well, that and food) ... anywho.. I am always buying journals because I get in these moods where I'm like "Tomorrow I am going to change!" and I want a fresh clean journal to match my fresh clean start..
except I usually don't change.. and then I have a journal entry that reads something similar to..
"Tomorrow I am going to start the new me. I'm going to keep my anger and impatience at bay. I am going to only eat God's foods and meditate. I am going to stick to my chore list and stop procrastinating."
And then the second entry is usually something along the lines of:
"I totally pigged today.. then felt horrible and bummed around all day feeling like crap."
Annnnnnnd that's right about the time I get the desire to buy a NEW journal and try again.. and again.. and again.. I have to be on journal 500 by now.. I have to be! I used to chuck them.. but about a year or two ago I forced myself to store them in a draw instead.. and then a box.. and then another box.. and.. now I have a lot of half empty journals scattered everywhere throughout my house.. and the really sad part is THEY ARE CARBON COPIES OF EACH OTHER!!!!! LOL I mean not really.. but they are so similar it's ridiculous!
Crazy I am.
But whatevs.. I'm harmless..
This little rant was inspired because I am going to go back on my vegan diet.. I tried it out in January and it lasted four months.. but then I caved in to buffalo chicken and all the other yummy foods I love to devour..
My problem is that I don't enjoy the actual meat.. I enjoy the flavorings.. so it's just not worth it to be a part of the horrors associated with factory farming or any kind of slaughter and torture of millions of animals.. I'll add my buffalo sauce to something else..
I mean.. if we lived back in the day.. when the men would hunt and the women would cook a kill I'd be all over it! I don't think that eating meat is necessarily bad.. it's just the way that meat is obtained in our day and age that just seems sinful.. The animals are abused.. and I wouldn't abuse my dog or a stray cat.. so why am I contributing and encouraging the continuation of it by purchasing the meat..
and you know what really sucks.. I am forever looking for the cheapest package of meats.. I need chicken cutlets.. I go the chicken section and pick the cheapest meat that suits my needs..
and THAT is why factory farming exists and why they pump the chickens full of steroids - so I can have a big pack of chicken breasts.. for the cheapest price..
I don't know.. I hate to be a preachy gal.. I really do.. especially since I just ate meat every day for almost my whole life! ha!
I just want to aspire to be the best me..
and I think a meat free diet is so much better for the environment and for my body because I do believe that a meat free diet is also healthier.. and if I fail to do it.. so be it!
I fail every day at something or other.. but trying to be better is what I do.. and you know what.. overall I DO succeed at that goal! I used to be a semi-violent person.. throw stuff when me and Frank would fight.. I have gotten out of my car to scream at people more times than I can count.. I used to curse all the time.. I've dumped several very unhealthy habits..
But I'm growing up.. and maturing.. and getting calmer.. and healthier.. and most importantly.. getting HAPPIER..
so um yeah.. that's my new crazy idea.. GO VEGAN!
PS.. last time I went vegan.. I switched to soy milk (rice milk is so much better!) and Ayden called it "soil" milk.. not to be funny.. just because that's what he thought I called it.. He would say "Can I have real milk. I don't like soil milk." haha..