Wednesday, October 6, 2010

God Saved My Marriage

I was just reading my favorite blog "Kelly's Korner" and she mentioned her friend was struggling to have a child.. and that her friend was struggling with not finding a husband.. and she asked her readers to hop on over and read or give inspirational stories about how God can and HAS changed lives that seemed so sad in a "nano second".. and I wanted to share my stories as well..

My husband and I met and were married less than 12 weeks later.. I had already been married to my high school boyfriend.. who I had a child with.. and then divorced when Gavin turned 1.. so here I was 22 and on my SECOND marriage.. Honestly, after that divorce I kind of felt as though no one would ever want me.. I had baggage.. not only a failed marriage but a child too!

And then Frank walked in my life and fell head over heels in love me..

We eloped and moved out of state and got an apartment hundred of miles away from all of our family and friends.. (we were both pretty lonely at the time and didn't feel we were missing anything by moving)

Well, it turned out to be the worst three years of my life! I regretted getting married.. as did he.. I thought he was mature and willing to step up to the plate.. I mean he knew I had a child.. I was looking for a mature relationship where we could be a family (Gavin was almost three when we eloped) a man who was a hard worker, I was a work horse at the time..

But Frank wasn't ready for that life yet.. he had just turned 22 and wanted to work as little as possible, play games in his free time, and just be mr. happy chill..

Meanwhile our bills were not getting paid.. he was sleeping late, calling out of work.. I was bashing him, calling him a bum.. oh, and he drank at the time..

I really considered divorce, but how friggen embarrassing to go back home and tell all my friends and family that my second marriage failed!!!!! Plus Gavin just loved him to pieces from day one.. he has always been a kid at heart and that equals a great dad!

Then after I had had enough.. I packed up all my stuff and moved back in with my parents.. sniffle sniffle..

We talked almost daily.. well, we screamed at each other daily.. we both felt this strong love for one another.. but our desires and needs couldn't survive on obsession..

After 3 months.. he followed me to NJ.. the one thing, the TWO things I was adament about was that he (1) quit drinking and (2) work full time on the books..

He had some requests for me as well.. stop calling him names, stop screaming, stop nagging, basically stop being a crazy person.. ha!

We both agree and stuck to our word.. and a new marriage was born.. a marriage that I never thought I'd get.. I cried and screamed to God from my bathroom floor while Frank was on the other side screaming at me.. so many nights! The cops were called a few times.. some by me, some by my neighbors who must've been pretty scared for my son.. it's something we went through.. we can never take any of it back.. but we are so grateful that it is a distant memory and no longer the depressed state that was our lives for years..

5 comments:

  1. came over from Kellys Korner - love this post - it is REAL and we all need REAL reminders in our lives ... going to do my post now!

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  2. So happy your marriage is what you always knew you wanted. Good for you two for sticking with it and going thru the hard work! And your boys are too CUTE! I have 3 boys also and Girl I know how CRAZY it gets!!!

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  3. Wow, what a great story of how you were able to change your marriage with a little Help! So glad you two were able to make it...what a testimony to pushing on through the trials!

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  4. Hi Nicole, Thanks for being so honest. Marriage and family takes a lot of work. I agree that you are very REAL. Your boys are adorable.

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  5. Thank you for being so honest. I think there are a lot of people out there who don't realize how much hard work is involved into keeping a marriage alive. I'm glad that you and your hubby were able to work through things!

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