Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It's Hot as Hell in Here

Yeah so tonight is gymnastics night for my two older boys.. Ayd goes from 5-6 then Gav from 6-7.. it's a good 20 mins away.. so basically we leave at 4:30 and get home at 7:30.. yeah so.. we go.. Ayden goes in.. and Ethan is a total monster the entire hour.. I really wanted to take him to the car and strap him in and then return to gymnastics.. ha! I would never do that.. well.. actually I might if it were legal and acceptable.. ugh.. anywho..

So after we get Ayden and Gavin goes in I'm like we are NOT staying here.. I put the younger two in the car and off we go.. where.. I had no clue.. just not in the waiting room with my son being so fresh to me with other parents looking at me.. not that I even really care because let's face it.. who kids doesn't act like that sometimes??

Anywho.. as I'm driving in the general direction of my town.. I start thinking that.. oh crap! Tonight is Ayden's trophy night.. he played baseball and 6pm was when he was ganna get his trophy.. excellent!! We'll go grab it.. and then go get Gav (SHIT!!!!!!! I just remembered I forgot to get my birth control.. again! Ugh.. I have GOT to do that 2moro) ANYWHO...

So I drive to the address and it's a nightmare.. it's a hall with about 200 people in it.. I pulled up and asked some men outside if I could just run in and get my kids trophy.. he's like "No. They're calling each kid up individually, then there will be pizza afterwards. So go find a parking spot!"

Ugh, crap!! I have to get my other kid in like 30 mins..

So I tell Ayden, sorry, but we just can't stay.. I bribed him with 2 lolly pops and head home to get them.. I pull up to the house, open the door, and can't breath. Literally!

The monster baby apparently clicked my thermostat ALL THE WAY ON HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!

It's one of those with a little thing you can just slide.. yeah.. it was seriously, no exaggeration at least 105 degrees in my house.. and of course our ACs had been taken out already.. and of course, I had to leave and couldn't even keep the windows or doors open..

It's still kind of disgusting a few hours later.. I'm up in my room with the AC on.. we keep the upstairs ones in all year long cause it's just too much to lug em up and down..

I am beyond cranky.. I need a nice cold showa.. and a mimosa!! Too bad I don't have any champagne though..

Note to self: get birth control and champagne! AND a thermostat cover!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

NO MORE: Diapers or Unemployment

Just an update on life..

Frankie started working at Fed Ex this week.. it's weird to have him have a set place he needs to be every day.. but he has Sundays and Mondays off.. which I LOVE.. weekends are SO hectic here.. the boys are friggen animals.. lol.. its just pure chaos.. and I dont wanna impose too much structure or make them not be so loud.. because it's their only two days off too.. but anywho.. so this way he can chill with us all on Sunday.. watch football.. then have Monday to really relax and regroup.. but then still see the boys as soon as they get outta school.. plus me and him can have some quiet time during the day too..

Ethan has a super high fever.. don't know the exact number because I am anti thermostats.. nooo.. that's not what they're called.. thermometers?? yes yes.. I've been a mom for almost 12 years now.. and I've maybe used them 12 times ever.. between 3 kids.. it's just too much trouble.. I mean you can feel a little fever.. and you can certainly tell the difference with a high one.. when I have taken them to the doctors or the ER they always say did ya take their temp? and sometimes I lie and guess (Mother of the year, I know) or sometimes I say "No, but I'd say around 101.6" and then they take their temp.. and I'm always so close.. ha! Anywho.. little man is kinda scaring me.. cause this one is def in the 102 - 103 range.. I hate high fevers.. when I was in the Army a soldier died from over heating on a road march.. his body literally cooked him from the inside out.. so yeah.. high fevers scare me.. I gave him Tylenol.. more than I'd like actually.. oh, did I mention I'm also anti-medicine.. yeah.. I hardly ever give my children OTC drugs.. my kids pediatrician is MY pediatrician.. so he's old school.. he thinks the body does amazing stuff on it's own.. and I agree.. a fever is meant to kill off whatever it is that is causing the child to be sick.. so unless my children are uncomfortably in pain.. we don't give them anything.. well.. Frank probably would.. but he can't cause I don't let him.. lol.. man.. I'm long winded tonight.. focus Nicole.. focus!!

Fever.. no meds.. oh, but I DID give little man Tylenol because that's how hot he was.. it's just from teething though.. I think I've heard people say kids don't get fevers from teething.. but I got three kids with mouths full of teeth and every single tooth caused the same symptoms: fever and pain.. I can feel his molars coming in.. and he moves his mouth funny.. and he puts his hands up to his mouth and says "Hurt." sooo.. I know he's teething..

Ayden is still too wild for my liking.. I don't know how to tame him.. I really hope it's just a phase.. cause I'm really not doing much to stop it.. I mean I tell him a gazillion times a day to not do certain things.. then he does them.. then I either issue a chore, put him in time out, or take something away.. then.. he does it again.. and again..

Gavin got into his first fist fight the other day.. some kid Nazier slapped him in the face in school.. so then Gavin kicked his leg as he walked away.. he pushed Gav.. Gav pushed back.. teacher came.. it ended.. then after school Nazier and 6 friends circled Gavin and Nazier said "That's who I wanna fight." Gavin said that he told them he wasn't going to fight all of them and that the numbers weren't fair.. they promised Gavin no one would jump in.. so he agreed!

Like, uh really Gav!?!?! You believed them!?!?! Thankfully no one did though..

He said he took off his bookbag, hoody, and his new button up.. lol.. can you imagine? I know this is in no way funny.. but who is like "Uh, I just got this shirt last night and I really like it. Can you give me a sec?" When he's faced with a group of kids?

Yeah so he said they both punched each other in the face and Gav threw him down.. ugh.. who knows.. Gav seemed pretty proud of himself.. and actually I was sort of proud too.. I told him he was very brave to fight without any of friends around and a bunch of the other kids.. he said "What would you have done?"

I said "I dunno.. probably screamed HEEEEELLLLLP!!!!!!!! And ran away!" lol

but then later on I thought.. Did I encourage my kid to fight?!?!?!?! I didn't react like I thought I would have.. so we talked about it a few more times.. and each time I emphasized how I was not happy about it.. and if he thought he was going to be a fighter.. he was wrong.. blah blah blah.. I also threatened him with taking him out of that school and putting him into Catholic school again.. which was more of a promise really..

School's going well.. I get my associates in May.. that was a long 10 years coming hahahaha.. at least five though.. on and off.. but mostly on!! Two classes every semester for about five years.. with a year and a half off while I worked.. yeesh..

Oh, and Ethan is 100% potty trained now.. with the exception of bed time.. He's been going on the potty since July.. I let him run around naked all summer and more often than not he'd pee in his potty but we had accidents almost daily.. until a few weeks ago.. then this week I tried the taking-him-out-in-public test and he passed.. no accidents at all.. and we were gone for a while a few days.. today we drove an hour south to my moms.. went shopping for a few hours and then drove back home.. noooooooooo accidents!!!! yay!!! He rocks!

das about it.. yaaaaaawn..

Monday, October 18, 2010

Jobs & Pumpkins

Tomorrow is a big day in our household.. Frank starts a job!! The ironic part is that he's probably going to quit it at the end of the week.. Gavin's bio dad is trying to get him a job where he works.. he went for the first of two interviews today and it went really well.. a bit strange eh? My ex-husband is hooking my current husband up with a jobby job? Isaac, that's his name, and I married a few weeks after HS.. after dating for about 8 months.. it was weird.. I told him I was breaking up with him because I was joining the Army.. and he proposed.. I said yes and we eloped..

But.. two immature teenagers on their own for the first time ever.. didn't quite pan out how we imagined.. we got pregnant a year later.. then separated a week after Gavin's first birthday.. we were officially divorced a few months later..

He got into a major car wreck a week after we separated.. the hospital said he might not make it and I should rush to get there.. I didn't know what to do.. we were in the middle of divorcing.. I told them to call his mom.. but we were in KY/TN border area and she was in NJ.. that was a very scary time..

He obviously recovered.. actually, he is now married to the rehabilitation nurse who helped him walk again..

Gavin and I were talking about how one little thing can change your life.. Tara, that's his wife's name.. wasn't even supposed to be his nurse.. but the gal who was called out or something.. and then they fell in love..

I met Frank a year and a half after my divorce.. and we got married three months later..

I write it, and I know it's my life.. but it still blows my mind that I did that! I married a stranger.. AND I packed up all my belongings, my son, and dog and drove south without a destination! We just stopped in Virginia Beach and set up shop.. talk about poor! We would shop at the dollar store for our weekly groceries (they had a fridge section) with a budget of $20..

Man, I remember one time I found a $20 bill under the couch cushion and I though he was holding out on me.. hahaha!!! Meanwhile it was probably ME who hid it from HIM! lol

Anywho.. went to the pumpkin patch yesterday.. bad idea.. well, great idea.. bad timing..

I never do much on the weekends.. since I'm home all week.. I prefer to avoid crowds.. and if I do do something on the weekend I do it early to again.. avoid the crowds.. but my friend Jaime was taking her daughter and they were going alone so I decided to tag along.. at 2pm on a Sunday.. eek!

This one cracks me up.. two geese came running by Ethan.. I think because the boy to the left of the photo was chasing them.. and he got SO freaked out! Do you see his hand in a fist? He was prepared.. ha!

oh my goodness.. and this "monsta" came running out from a shed during the hay ride and went up on to the cart in front of us.. well as he was walking back down, we were right there in the next cart and the kids were kneeling on the hay looking at him and he starting tickling them.. Ethan Fuh reaked! lol.. He screamed "MONSTA MONSTA!!"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Creative Copy Cat

Ok, I just found the coolest vegan blog ever.. I've been following Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Life for about a year now.. and it just doesn't do it for me.. she's VERY preachy.. and a little odd truth be told.. she once wrote on her blog that she felt sorry for the fish inside a fish tank at a restaurant and wanted all her readers to call and ask the owner to set them free. hahahah!!! fruit loop.. but aside from her strong personal beliefs she is a very nice girl trying to do very nice things..

But even her recipes are too far fetched for me.. they include products that require me to make a trip to the not really budget friendly Whole Foods.. or purchase some products online.. plus more often than not, it's products I've never even heard of.. so I have no idea if I'll even like them.. and by the looks of them.. I probably won't..

Today her blog featured an eggplant lasagna recipe created by Lola at VeganYumYum and although that particular recipe didn't scream yum to me.. A LOT of her other recipes did! She has mohito cupcakes:

And seriously how friggen cute are these Knit Night cupcakes?!?!?!
I'm green with envy! lol.. I wish I could come up with stuff like this.. but I can't.. so I'm just going to copy her stuff..

Friday, October 15, 2010


I'm in a radical mood.. as in.. I want to radically change my life!

Ya ever feel like that?? I am a bit.. crazy.. and I often feel this way.. almost every night.. ha! I am ALWAYS buying new journals (its definitely my #1 addiction, well, that and food) ... anywho.. I am always buying journals because I get in these moods where I'm like "Tomorrow I am going to change!" and I want a fresh clean journal to match my fresh clean start..

except I usually don't change.. and then I have a journal entry that reads something similar to..

"Tomorrow I am going to start the new me. I'm going to keep my anger and impatience at bay. I am going to only eat God's foods and meditate. I am going to stick to my chore list and stop procrastinating."

And then the second entry is usually something along the lines of:

"I totally pigged today.. then felt horrible and bummed around all day feeling like crap."

Annnnnnnd that's right about the time I get the desire to buy a NEW journal and try again.. and again.. and again.. I have to be on journal 500 by now.. I have to be! I used to chuck them.. but about a year or two ago I forced myself to store them in a draw instead.. and then a box.. and then another box.. and.. now I have a lot of half empty journals scattered everywhere throughout my house.. and the really sad part is THEY ARE CARBON COPIES OF EACH OTHER!!!!! LOL I mean not really.. but they are so similar it's ridiculous!

Crazy I am.

But whatevs.. I'm harmless..

This little rant was inspired because I am going to go back on my vegan diet.. I tried it out in January and it lasted four months.. but then I caved in to buffalo chicken and all the other yummy foods I love to devour..

My problem is that I don't enjoy the actual meat.. I enjoy the flavorings.. so it's just not worth it to be a part of the horrors associated with factory farming or any kind of slaughter and torture of millions of animals.. I'll add my buffalo sauce to something else..

I mean.. if we lived back in the day.. when the men would hunt and the women would cook a kill I'd be all over it! I don't think that eating meat is necessarily bad.. it's just the way that meat is obtained in our day and age that just seems sinful.. The animals are abused.. and I wouldn't abuse my dog or a stray cat.. so why am I contributing and encouraging the continuation of it by purchasing the meat..

and you know what really sucks.. I am forever looking for the cheapest package of meats.. I need chicken cutlets.. I go the chicken section and pick the cheapest meat that suits my needs..

and THAT is why factory farming exists and why they pump the chickens full of steroids - so I can have a big pack of chicken breasts.. for the cheapest price..

I don't know.. I hate to be a preachy gal.. I really do.. especially since I just ate meat every day for almost my whole life! ha!

I just want to aspire to be the best me..

and I think a meat free diet is so much better for the environment and for my body because I do believe that a meat free diet is also healthier.. and if I fail to do it.. so be it!

I fail every day at something or other.. but trying to be better is what I do.. and you know what.. overall I DO succeed at that goal! I used to be a semi-violent person.. throw stuff when me and Frank would fight.. I have gotten out of my car to scream at people more times than I can count.. I used to curse all the time.. I've dumped several very unhealthy habits..

But I'm growing up.. and maturing.. and getting calmer.. and healthier.. and most importantly.. getting HAPPIER..

so um yeah.. that's my new crazy idea.. GO VEGAN!

PS.. last time I went vegan.. I switched to soy milk (rice milk is so much better!) and Ayden called it "soil" milk.. not to be funny.. just because that's what he thought I called it.. He would say "Can I have real milk. I don't like soil milk." haha..

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Mom's Break In

My mom was just robbed.. She comes and visits us every Tuesday and Friday.. sleeps over and leaves early in the morning.. she lives 40 minutes south of us.. her and her best friend Monica live in a senior community.. they are both widows.. and they were both living with their kids for a while.. and just wanted to be out on their own.. they're both young 60s.. love bingo.. love Atlantic City.. they bowl.. its a great little community..

Well, Monica got home this morning (after sleeping at her daughters house) and called my mom and said someone broke in through their back glass porch..

My moms a wreck.. obviously.. so am I..

She wasn't sure what they took.. but Monica did tell her (she hadn't made it home yet! Monica called her as she was on her way home from sleeping here last night) that her jewelery box was stolen..

She had my dad's wedding band in there.. and her ring they got married in.. she was wearing the set Frank and I bought her on what would've been their 40th anniversary.. the summer my dad died..

She's a mess.. I want to go see her.. but I have to get the boys from school.. plus I have the baby.. but I would take him.. I think.. I don't know.. he might be freaked with both of us crying..

You know it was a druggy.. who else breaks into houses other than desparate addicts who would do anything for their fix?!?!

Just another reason I HATE DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to call her.. but I don't want to bother her if she's still talking to the cops.. I wish I could be there for her..

So sad..

God Saved My Marriage

I was just reading my favorite blog "Kelly's Korner" and she mentioned her friend was struggling to have a child.. and that her friend was struggling with not finding a husband.. and she asked her readers to hop on over and read or give inspirational stories about how God can and HAS changed lives that seemed so sad in a "nano second".. and I wanted to share my stories as well..

My husband and I met and were married less than 12 weeks later.. I had already been married to my high school boyfriend.. who I had a child with.. and then divorced when Gavin turned 1.. so here I was 22 and on my SECOND marriage.. Honestly, after that divorce I kind of felt as though no one would ever want me.. I had baggage.. not only a failed marriage but a child too!

And then Frank walked in my life and fell head over heels in love me..

We eloped and moved out of state and got an apartment hundred of miles away from all of our family and friends.. (we were both pretty lonely at the time and didn't feel we were missing anything by moving)

Well, it turned out to be the worst three years of my life! I regretted getting married.. as did he.. I thought he was mature and willing to step up to the plate.. I mean he knew I had a child.. I was looking for a mature relationship where we could be a family (Gavin was almost three when we eloped) a man who was a hard worker, I was a work horse at the time..

But Frank wasn't ready for that life yet.. he had just turned 22 and wanted to work as little as possible, play games in his free time, and just be mr. happy chill..

Meanwhile our bills were not getting paid.. he was sleeping late, calling out of work.. I was bashing him, calling him a bum.. oh, and he drank at the time..

I really considered divorce, but how friggen embarrassing to go back home and tell all my friends and family that my second marriage failed!!!!! Plus Gavin just loved him to pieces from day one.. he has always been a kid at heart and that equals a great dad!

Then after I had had enough.. I packed up all my stuff and moved back in with my parents.. sniffle sniffle..

We talked almost daily.. well, we screamed at each other daily.. we both felt this strong love for one another.. but our desires and needs couldn't survive on obsession..

After 3 months.. he followed me to NJ.. the one thing, the TWO things I was adament about was that he (1) quit drinking and (2) work full time on the books..

He had some requests for me as well.. stop calling him names, stop screaming, stop nagging, basically stop being a crazy person.. ha!

We both agree and stuck to our word.. and a new marriage was born.. a marriage that I never thought I'd get.. I cried and screamed to God from my bathroom floor while Frank was on the other side screaming at me.. so many nights! The cops were called a few times.. some by me, some by my neighbors who must've been pretty scared for my son.. it's something we went through.. we can never take any of it back.. but we are so grateful that it is a distant memory and no longer the depressed state that was our lives for years..

Monday, October 4, 2010


I was taking Philosophy last semester.. and we touched on the subject of doing good deeds.. and were they really for the receiver of the good deed.. orrrrr was it to make the giver of such deed to get rewarded with the feeling that comes with it??

I'm leaning more on the side of it's for the giver's satisfaction.. but, what harm is done.. none! In fact, there is always someone receiving something.. I say it's a win-win.. but I am having issues with it lately..

We have sponsored a little boy in Etheopia for about a year now.. and I wonder if I did it to really help these strangers.. or to just feel good about myself.. then, the other issue I have is that I sort of feel like I'm doing it so God likes me.. and that's really the main issue I'm currently having..


With Frank being out of work lately.. I have prayed more than I have in years.. and I'm praying to ask for MORE blessings (more money).. when I already have so many!! A house, two cars, three healthy happy kind children, a loyal and loving husband, my mom is my best friend, plenty of clothes, and so much more..

So I told myself when Frank got a job, I'd sponsor another child.. I mean, for $38 a month (which I compare to a gym pass we wouldn't use or some other meaningless $40 purchase) I am truly helping a family pay their $6 rent, and provide food that may not otherwise be there, and the child gets an education, it's so worth it!!

Well, Friday, I decided that I shouldn't wait for Frank to get a job, and I sponsored another child. Well, she's more like a woman. Her name is Theresia and she's 17. Both her parents work, and she's above average in school, and I just felt like maybe because of her age she had given up hope of being sponsored, plus what if our contribution allows her to attend college (or whatever further education they have) and what if that changes her life?! How amazing!

But did I secretly do it just so that God then feels I'm deserving of Him allowing Frank to find a job? I am pretty sure that is NOT the case.. but I do think that God would much rather I do good as opposed to not helping others out.. so then it DOES matter to Him..

Honestly, I'm just an overanalizer and none of this matters.. Point is.. we now are making God more proud than we were last week when I was just "thinking" about sponsoring as opposed to actually "doing" it.. but I know He loves me whether I help more child or stop helping the two I already help.. there isn't really any bribing the Lord..

I do most definitely get pleasure out of sponsoring though.. I LOVE it.. ... check it out!