this is my fake blog.. ha! it really is.. I only write the good stuff on here because it's not private..
My other one is too viscous though.. Frank's unemployment ran out 9 or 10 weeks ago.. and I did great being supportive for a while.. but the past two weeks have not been pleasant.. at all..
I'm pretty good about not fighting in front of the kids.. not that we even hardly argue.. but if I'm cranky or he is one day.. I usually just stay mute to defuse the situation and a few minutes later.. it's all good..
But not lately.. I'm screaming at the kids.. truth be told.. I'm even cursing.. If Frank pisses me off even a little bit.. I bring up his unemployment.. which he's already bummed about.. and it's not like he's not looking.. I just get ticked he's not looking more!
Then I regret it.. and he totally forgives me because he feels he put us in this shitty situation.. but I hate adding to his stress..
It's been a rough two years.. that's how long he was on unemployment.. he thought it'd be sooooo easy to get a job.. I am pretty sour about it all.. I so want to go off on him right now.. not in person.. just on the blog.. but.. his mother reads this for updates on the kids.. lol.. (Hi Carol! Thanks for helping us out!)
And then it's like.. why fight and stress because it is going to end soon.. it's to the point where if he needs to take two jobs that pay crap.. he will.. but I don't think it'll come to that.. he drove trucks at his last job.. and he's been doing construction for ever.. so I'm sure he'll find something along those lines.. although I thought that for the past two months..
I just don't want it to be like.. he gets a job and then I'm like .. oh, well in that case I'll be nice again.. I want to be nice even when the bad times are here..
I can't wait to see what God has for our future.. I really hope it's not a crap job.. I'd hate for him to have to commute an hour away.. or make crap pay that doesn't make it worth his time.. He'll take anything that pays the bills.. I just want him to have some left over being as he's going to be working his tail off for it.. am I asking too much? So many people are dealing with true tragedies and I want Frank's commute to be comfortable and for him to not only pay the bills, but have extra money too..
I don't pray often.. I just don't get it.. How can I possibly feel comfortable asking God for anything when so many people have it so much worse.. like how dare I ask for MORE than I already have? Plus, another thing I don't get is.. God has it all figured out.. He has a plan for us.. so why ask for favors.. when maybe what I should be doing is waiting patiently for His plan to play out, no? yeah.. I don't get that.. plus.. what do you say?!? All I ever say is Thank You.. and then I list what I'm thankful for.. anywho.. I should get some rest..
Happy October Eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!