Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I got the job!

Carmen, my new boss, seems super nice. It's a mom and pop joint that sells exercise equipment and it doesn't appear to be too busy so my new position as bookkeeper will likely be smooth sailing.. after I get use to and eliminate the current chaos.. like um.. the TYPEWRITER!!

What the friggity frack??!?!?!

But whatever.. I'll just recreate the invoices on Excel.. after he gets use to me and trusts me.. hopefully he'll let me do it in a month or so.. maybe sooner.. we'll test the waters and see..

His daughter was doing it all before me.. hopefully she's just as friendly.. since she'll be the one with all the information I need to learn..

Oh, I can't wait.. I love love LOVE staying home with my babies.. and I would not change it for anything.. but I am super excited to go use my skills and make some much needed money.. plus the baby will still be home in his environment.. my mom's ganna be here with him.. plus it's only ganna be 10 hours or so a week..

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I can't sleep.. I have an interview tomorrow morning.. it's only part-time work, very part-time.. but still.. I want it.. and I want it to pay me well.. very well.. hehe

My plan is to enroll Ethan in the preK program next September.. then while the boys are at school.. my mom is going to get me a part time job with her old company with a bunch of women I've known for the past 20 years.. that job is going to do two things: (1) replace my Army money that will run out around that time and (2) pay me better than what I was receiving from the Army whereby giving me the funds needed to send my older two boys to private school..

However, I will be just as broke as I am right now.. all the bills will be paid.. but there will be nothing going into our nonexistant savings account.. or out nonexistant vacation account.. or even the change jar for that matter..

But then out of the blue one of my old bosses emails me with a job offer for a friend of his.. I spoke with his friend today and he needs a bookkeeper.. but business is slow so the hours aren't too demanding.. in fact I told him I could do Tuesdays and maybe half a day Wednesday and he still set up an interview so.. I'm sure that works for him.. and my old boss, Hank, loves me so I know he pretty much sold me already.. his friend and I just need to settle on the pay.. EEK!!

How awkward!!!.... ugh.. totally not looking forward to it.. I hate asking for pay.. I feel bad for the other guy.. I'm like aww.. I want x amount of dollars, but I'll for x instead because you seem real nice..

But I'm not letting that girl out of her closet tomorrow.. no no no! She will be ducktaped and gagged.. only the confident, but sweet me will be present.. man oh man.. I hope it goes well.. and I hope my hours are enough.. what if he hires me for the pay I request.. but I'm not able to complete all the work in time?? .....................

No.. I must not go into stress mode.. working myself up sure is one thing I EXCEL at... but it's all in my mind..

Worse case.. it doesn't work out and he lets me go.. which I cannot imagine happening because I am a work horse by nature.. and a people pleaser.. and I will get the job done even if I must work extra hours.. it'll be fine..

Friday, December 10, 2010

Catholic Education

Gavin starts 7th grade next year.. I mean.. I know he's only a few months into 6th grade.. but I'm a planner.. so I started looking into how much it will cost us to send him to a good high school.. oh my word.. I am SCARED!! We can afford it - $10,000 a year if we put every penny into it.. and that's with me getting a decent paying job while the kids are in school..

But then.. he's ganna be the poor kid.. we won't be able to afford the name brand clothes.. or new cars.. or vacations.. or anything else that defines a person's economic status.. which is fine by me.. but I don't want THEM to feel inferior to their peers..

I could totally avoid that.. if I keep them in our public school district.. but only because we'd be considered wealthy because we own instead of rent and own two cars instead of taking a cab.. but the school is SOOOOOOOO craptastic.. I mean trashy.. all schools have drugs.. but ours has junkies.. and lots of them.. mainly because their parents are junkies.. but let me know go there.. the point is.. I'm screwed..

Good education, but be the poor kid from the dirtbag town

or be a shining star in a filthy school that produces more jail birds than college grads - BY FAR!!!!

Not too tough of a decision.. but paying 10,000 for Gavin.. PLUS the other two's tuition.. omg.. I wanna puke..

I COULD work full time.. but that has too many negative aspects for me.. not seeing my kids.. them being as school for way too long.. and just the mood that that type of household has.. the working mom who grabs the kids at 5pm.. rushes home to start dinner.. then dishes.. while trying to knock out laundry.. too tired and too busy to sit and talk with the kids.. then its baths and bed.. I can't do it.. I did for a few years.. and it just doesn't work for our family..

I want to work though.. I can't wait.. I go back in September when Ethan starts our preK program.. but I want to get off at 2pm and be able to pick my kids up..

There are very few other high school options in this area.. there are 5 within a 30 mile radius that offer a free vocational training program.. but there are limited students accepted.. and we'll just have to see if Gavin has the grades for them.. I think he has the grades as far as his report cards go.. he usually gets As and Bs.. but if they have an entry exam type test.. which I'm sure they do.. he might struggle with the writing aspect.. we'll see..

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Fall 2010 update

Update of my little nook in the world..

Frank started working at Morgan two weeks ago.. this weekend was his first time on-call.. he had to go in last night.. and again this morning.. but.. that just means a bigger paycheck.. our weekends are usually spent lounging around.. so no plans got disrupted.. other than cancelling.. err.. rescheduling.. going to see the new Harry Potter flick..

Thanksgiving was AWESOME.. except for my being sick.. my mom cooked.. as always.. and it was amazing!!!!.. as always.. =) Frank's parents and brother Bill came to visit.. and Jaime and Ariana stopped by.. I was sick as a dog though.. double pink eye infection.. bad cramps.. sore throat.. lost my voice.. couldn't stop coughing.. and I was throwing up.. went to the ER this morning.. not for one particular symptom per se.. just kinda got scared that SO MANY things were wrong with me.. but other than the pink eye and an upper respiratory infection.. all is well..

Last Thanksgiving we woke up to only half the house having electricity.. and of course the fridge (with all that yummy food in it did NOT).. the guy came and had it all back on within a few hours.. but for those few hours.. of cords running this way and that.. man oh man.. did it make me appreciate the convenience of have electricity!!!!! Then this year.. I was sick as a dog with no voice.. and again.. made me appreciate the little things in life that I take for granted every single day..

Ordered my mom a really nice jewelry box for Christmas.. since her's was stolen in a break in a few months ago.. I wanted to get a her super nice one.. because she just does SO MUCH for my family all year long.. I found one that was gorgeous for $125.. then I found it on another website for $100.. then after I kept searching I found it for $85!! And I was planning on a $50-$60 budget for it anyways.. so I said hell with it.. I'll spluge and get the most gorgeous one I've ever seen in my life.. but before I hit the purchase button.. I googled "promo codes" for the store and got a $10 off coupon!!!!! So now it was only $75 with Free shipping because I always use websites that offer little to no charge for shipping..

Then it comes.. and it has a friggen knick on the inside cover.. you can't see it while the top is closed.. but once you open it.. it's an obvious knick and for the money I paid.. I was definitely exchanging it.. (oh, and I also only order from companies who offer free return shipping!) I went to the website.. and it asked me a few questions about why I wanted to exchange/return the product.. it asked if the package was damaged, the product, or both..

I clicked on the option for product only..

and guess what?!?!? They refunded my husband's pay pal account.. WITHOUT having me send it back to them!!!!!!! I guess because they'd be paying for me to send it back and then again for them to send me a new one.. and it's a pretty heavy jewelry box..

So um yeah, I got a hundred dollar jewelry box FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Score! lol

Ok.. baby's in the pots and pans.. and my house needs some TLC.. ta ta

Monday, November 15, 2010

My thoughts are consuming me
She's been stuck in fast forward for weeks now
Glimpses are seen sporadically
But nothing makes sense
The nonsensical mayhem is causing aggression
but much worse is the guilt or is it shame
Who am I
Why are you so angry all the time
The kids can't dance or be goofy? Really?!
It bothers you that much
You suck
You and your ridiculous time outs
*rolls eyes*
Here's a hint: any progress?
Take the time to talk
kindly and calmly
They only act as they see
I suck
Ok, a bit on the dramatic side.. but I'm really not in a good mental place.. I am annoying at everything.. I'm not in the mood to clean or really do anything.. including taking a shower and getting ready.. it's like a chore..
The kids are disobedient.. day in and day out.. I feel like.. what's the point? Why am I spending all my time and energy on these kids.. when none of it is working out.. I tell them the same things every single day.. dozens of times a day.. WHY?? Why waste any more breaths..
I was cleaning Gavin's room today and found a piece of paper with unpleasant words on it.. I would have NEVER thought Gavin would write those words.. I was shocked to say the least.. and sad.. and disappointed.. and scared..
I feel as tho I am a failure.. like Ayden not listening is a report card of my mothering.. and his not listening is a big fat F every single day.. I tell him the same stuff every day.. don't jump on the couch.. calm down.. give the toy to your brother.. and when I talk to him.. he smiles at me.. as if it's funny.. then I send him in time out and he whines.. and cries.. and gets angry.. and then.. he gets out and is doing the same exact thing minutes later..
Am I supposed to be hitting my kids? Cause I don't.. I mean I have.. but I feel as tho that's something that parents who lose their temper do.. and I feel so bad for their ego.. it's so embarrassing.. I mean Gavin's 11.. that's weird.. and I don't just wanna hit Ayden.. cause Gav's too old and Ethan's too young.. so I don't..
I do time outs.. but I think I'm done with them.. my kids could and often do live in the corner.. they're either all angry or they don't care and they're playing with their hands or whatnot..
I don't know.. just feeling like I failed my kids.. but I can hardly keep myself on track.. I can't in fact.. I'm always carrying over chores from the previous day that I didn't do.. or getting angry and being snotty.. how can I expect my kids to act any better?
I'm due soon.. maybe I'm just hormonal.. cause I'm normally not so blue.. *sigh*

Friday, November 12, 2010

How Not to be a Good Parent - take 3632465

I really need to take some video of the baby.. I said that about him scaling the gate at 8 months.. and never got it.. and I can't remember exactly.. but I'm positive there were a few other great photo ops I missed.. the current one I want to capture his his horse dance.. if anyone starts singing he does this little prance thing that is uh dorable!!

What's NOT adorable is him telling me to shut up.. or rather SHUP! yeah.. I'm still baffled that my mother and I actually taught him to say that.. like.. did I NOT learn my lesson with the other two??

Us: Saaaaaay "NO!"

Him: "NO!"

Us: *giggling* "He's baaaad!" *more giggiling*

I was not, however, giggling when I was sweetly talking to him while holding him in my arms and he yelled "SHUP!"

I was like "WHAT?! Don't tell mommy shut up!"

"SHUP!" was what I got in return..

He did say sorry though.. cause I wouldn't talk to him until he did..

Although.. he did say "Unt uh!" the first dozen times I said "Say sorry! You don't tell mommy shut up!"

My bad..

Oh, then later on he told me to, yet again, shup! and I gave him the oh-n-u-didn't look.. and he goes "shhh" and put his finger over his mouth.. as if THAT is so much better..

The older two are doing well.. nothing new to really report.. Gavin's getting so big.. I just wanna pause him eternally in this stage of life.. he's on the brink of being a teenager.. and I'm really ganna be sad to see his immature self disappear..

He is just such a great kid.. he always wants to talk to me.. I hope that never changes.. I will really be sad if he turns into the teen who distances himself from his parents.. like I did.. but my parents were different.. they weren't into talking.. I am.. and when I'm not.. I pretend to be!

Man.. starting to feel bad.. i kinda laid into him tonight.. he was mouthing off in class so I punished him and he just didn't seem to mind.. he's all dancing around the house.. happy as a clam.. I want him to be a bit bothered that he's punished..

Parenting is friggen impossible.. at least always successful parenting is..

You wanna know a secret.. a secret I haven't and won't even tell my husband??

I felt so bad for yelling at Gavin.. i let him off punishment.. EEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW I shouldn't have.. but I was rude and wanted to make right my wrongs..

I don't know.. I am definitely of the mindset to appoligize to anyone.. even children.. if you wronged them.. and I definitely snapped at Gavin because I was cranky and not because of anything he did.. at all!

Ok.. I have to stop thinking about this.. probably wrong thing to do.. but I did it.. it's over.. and I don't wanna think about it anymore.. moving on..

Almost finished reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.. the first two were WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better.. but of course I gotta finish this one and see how it all ends..

ta ta

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It's Hot as Hell in Here

Yeah so tonight is gymnastics night for my two older boys.. Ayd goes from 5-6 then Gav from 6-7.. it's a good 20 mins away.. so basically we leave at 4:30 and get home at 7:30.. yeah so.. we go.. Ayden goes in.. and Ethan is a total monster the entire hour.. I really wanted to take him to the car and strap him in and then return to gymnastics.. ha! I would never do that.. well.. actually I might if it were legal and acceptable.. ugh.. anywho..

So after we get Ayden and Gavin goes in I'm like we are NOT staying here.. I put the younger two in the car and off we go.. where.. I had no clue.. just not in the waiting room with my son being so fresh to me with other parents looking at me.. not that I even really care because let's face it.. who kids doesn't act like that sometimes??

Anywho.. as I'm driving in the general direction of my town.. I start thinking that.. oh crap! Tonight is Ayden's trophy night.. he played baseball and 6pm was when he was ganna get his trophy.. excellent!! We'll go grab it.. and then go get Gav (SHIT!!!!!!! I just remembered I forgot to get my birth control.. again! Ugh.. I have GOT to do that 2moro) ANYWHO...

So I drive to the address and it's a nightmare.. it's a hall with about 200 people in it.. I pulled up and asked some men outside if I could just run in and get my kids trophy.. he's like "No. They're calling each kid up individually, then there will be pizza afterwards. So go find a parking spot!"

Ugh, crap!! I have to get my other kid in like 30 mins..

So I tell Ayden, sorry, but we just can't stay.. I bribed him with 2 lolly pops and head home to get them.. I pull up to the house, open the door, and can't breath. Literally!

The monster baby apparently clicked my thermostat ALL THE WAY ON HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!

It's one of those with a little thing you can just slide.. yeah.. it was seriously, no exaggeration at least 105 degrees in my house.. and of course our ACs had been taken out already.. and of course, I had to leave and couldn't even keep the windows or doors open..

It's still kind of disgusting a few hours later.. I'm up in my room with the AC on.. we keep the upstairs ones in all year long cause it's just too much to lug em up and down..

I am beyond cranky.. I need a nice cold showa.. and a mimosa!! Too bad I don't have any champagne though..

Note to self: get birth control and champagne! AND a thermostat cover!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

NO MORE: Diapers or Unemployment

Just an update on life..

Frankie started working at Fed Ex this week.. it's weird to have him have a set place he needs to be every day.. but he has Sundays and Mondays off.. which I LOVE.. weekends are SO hectic here.. the boys are friggen animals.. lol.. its just pure chaos.. and I dont wanna impose too much structure or make them not be so loud.. because it's their only two days off too.. but anywho.. so this way he can chill with us all on Sunday.. watch football.. then have Monday to really relax and regroup.. but then still see the boys as soon as they get outta school.. plus me and him can have some quiet time during the day too..

Ethan has a super high fever.. don't know the exact number because I am anti thermostats.. nooo.. that's not what they're called.. thermometers?? yes yes.. I've been a mom for almost 12 years now.. and I've maybe used them 12 times ever.. between 3 kids.. it's just too much trouble.. I mean you can feel a little fever.. and you can certainly tell the difference with a high one.. when I have taken them to the doctors or the ER they always say did ya take their temp? and sometimes I lie and guess (Mother of the year, I know) or sometimes I say "No, but I'd say around 101.6" and then they take their temp.. and I'm always so close.. ha! Anywho.. little man is kinda scaring me.. cause this one is def in the 102 - 103 range.. I hate high fevers.. when I was in the Army a soldier died from over heating on a road march.. his body literally cooked him from the inside out.. so yeah.. high fevers scare me.. I gave him Tylenol.. more than I'd like actually.. oh, did I mention I'm also anti-medicine.. yeah.. I hardly ever give my children OTC drugs.. my kids pediatrician is MY pediatrician.. so he's old school.. he thinks the body does amazing stuff on it's own.. and I agree.. a fever is meant to kill off whatever it is that is causing the child to be sick.. so unless my children are uncomfortably in pain.. we don't give them anything.. well.. Frank probably would.. but he can't cause I don't let him.. lol.. man.. I'm long winded tonight.. focus Nicole.. focus!!

Fever.. no meds.. oh, but I DID give little man Tylenol because that's how hot he was.. it's just from teething though.. I think I've heard people say kids don't get fevers from teething.. but I got three kids with mouths full of teeth and every single tooth caused the same symptoms: fever and pain.. I can feel his molars coming in.. and he moves his mouth funny.. and he puts his hands up to his mouth and says "Hurt." sooo.. I know he's teething..

Ayden is still too wild for my liking.. I don't know how to tame him.. I really hope it's just a phase.. cause I'm really not doing much to stop it.. I mean I tell him a gazillion times a day to not do certain things.. then he does them.. then I either issue a chore, put him in time out, or take something away.. then.. he does it again.. and again..

Gavin got into his first fist fight the other day.. some kid Nazier slapped him in the face in school.. so then Gavin kicked his leg as he walked away.. he pushed Gav.. Gav pushed back.. teacher came.. it ended.. then after school Nazier and 6 friends circled Gavin and Nazier said "That's who I wanna fight." Gavin said that he told them he wasn't going to fight all of them and that the numbers weren't fair.. they promised Gavin no one would jump in.. so he agreed!

Like, uh really Gav!?!?! You believed them!?!?! Thankfully no one did though..

He said he took off his bookbag, hoody, and his new button up.. lol.. can you imagine? I know this is in no way funny.. but who is like "Uh, I just got this shirt last night and I really like it. Can you give me a sec?" When he's faced with a group of kids?

Yeah so he said they both punched each other in the face and Gav threw him down.. ugh.. who knows.. Gav seemed pretty proud of himself.. and actually I was sort of proud too.. I told him he was very brave to fight without any of friends around and a bunch of the other kids.. he said "What would you have done?"

I said "I dunno.. probably screamed HEEEEELLLLLP!!!!!!!! And ran away!" lol

but then later on I thought.. Did I encourage my kid to fight?!?!?!?! I didn't react like I thought I would have.. so we talked about it a few more times.. and each time I emphasized how I was not happy about it.. and if he thought he was going to be a fighter.. he was wrong.. blah blah blah.. I also threatened him with taking him out of that school and putting him into Catholic school again.. which was more of a promise really..

School's going well.. I get my associates in May.. that was a long 10 years coming hahahaha.. at least five though.. on and off.. but mostly on!! Two classes every semester for about five years.. with a year and a half off while I worked.. yeesh..

Oh, and Ethan is 100% potty trained now.. with the exception of bed time.. He's been going on the potty since July.. I let him run around naked all summer and more often than not he'd pee in his potty but we had accidents almost daily.. until a few weeks ago.. then this week I tried the taking-him-out-in-public test and he passed.. no accidents at all.. and we were gone for a while a few days.. today we drove an hour south to my moms.. went shopping for a few hours and then drove back home.. noooooooooo accidents!!!! yay!!! He rocks!

das about it.. yaaaaaawn..

Monday, October 18, 2010

Jobs & Pumpkins

Tomorrow is a big day in our household.. Frank starts a job!! The ironic part is that he's probably going to quit it at the end of the week.. Gavin's bio dad is trying to get him a job where he works.. he went for the first of two interviews today and it went really well.. a bit strange eh? My ex-husband is hooking my current husband up with a jobby job? Isaac, that's his name, and I married a few weeks after HS.. after dating for about 8 months.. it was weird.. I told him I was breaking up with him because I was joining the Army.. and he proposed.. I said yes and we eloped..

But.. two immature teenagers on their own for the first time ever.. didn't quite pan out how we imagined.. we got pregnant a year later.. then separated a week after Gavin's first birthday.. we were officially divorced a few months later..

He got into a major car wreck a week after we separated.. the hospital said he might not make it and I should rush to get there.. I didn't know what to do.. we were in the middle of divorcing.. I told them to call his mom.. but we were in KY/TN border area and she was in NJ.. that was a very scary time..

He obviously recovered.. actually, he is now married to the rehabilitation nurse who helped him walk again..

Gavin and I were talking about how one little thing can change your life.. Tara, that's his wife's name.. wasn't even supposed to be his nurse.. but the gal who was called out or something.. and then they fell in love..

I met Frank a year and a half after my divorce.. and we got married three months later..

I write it, and I know it's my life.. but it still blows my mind that I did that! I married a stranger.. AND I packed up all my belongings, my son, and dog and drove south without a destination! We just stopped in Virginia Beach and set up shop.. talk about poor! We would shop at the dollar store for our weekly groceries (they had a fridge section) with a budget of $20..

Man, I remember one time I found a $20 bill under the couch cushion and I though he was holding out on me.. hahaha!!! Meanwhile it was probably ME who hid it from HIM! lol

Anywho.. went to the pumpkin patch yesterday.. bad idea.. well, great idea.. bad timing..

I never do much on the weekends.. since I'm home all week.. I prefer to avoid crowds.. and if I do do something on the weekend I do it early to again.. avoid the crowds.. but my friend Jaime was taking her daughter and they were going alone so I decided to tag along.. at 2pm on a Sunday.. eek!

This one cracks me up.. two geese came running by Ethan.. I think because the boy to the left of the photo was chasing them.. and he got SO freaked out! Do you see his hand in a fist? He was prepared.. ha!

oh my goodness.. and this "monsta" came running out from a shed during the hay ride and went up on to the cart in front of us.. well as he was walking back down, we were right there in the next cart and the kids were kneeling on the hay looking at him and he starting tickling them.. Ethan Fuh reaked! lol.. He screamed "MONSTA MONSTA!!"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Creative Copy Cat

Ok, I just found the coolest vegan blog ever.. I've been following Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Life for about a year now.. and it just doesn't do it for me.. she's VERY preachy.. and a little odd truth be told.. she once wrote on her blog that she felt sorry for the fish inside a fish tank at a restaurant and wanted all her readers to call and ask the owner to set them free. hahahah!!! fruit loop.. but aside from her strong personal beliefs she is a very nice girl trying to do very nice things..

But even her recipes are too far fetched for me.. they include products that require me to make a trip to the not really budget friendly Whole Foods.. or purchase some products online.. plus more often than not, it's products I've never even heard of.. so I have no idea if I'll even like them.. and by the looks of them.. I probably won't..

Today her blog featured an eggplant lasagna recipe created by Lola at VeganYumYum and although that particular recipe didn't scream yum to me.. A LOT of her other recipes did! She has mohito cupcakes:

And seriously how friggen cute are these Knit Night cupcakes?!?!?!
I'm green with envy! lol.. I wish I could come up with stuff like this.. but I can't.. so I'm just going to copy her stuff..

Friday, October 15, 2010


I'm in a radical mood.. as in.. I want to radically change my life!

Ya ever feel like that?? I am a bit.. crazy.. and I often feel this way.. almost every night.. ha! I am ALWAYS buying new journals (its definitely my #1 addiction, well, that and food) ... anywho.. I am always buying journals because I get in these moods where I'm like "Tomorrow I am going to change!" and I want a fresh clean journal to match my fresh clean start..

except I usually don't change.. and then I have a journal entry that reads something similar to..

"Tomorrow I am going to start the new me. I'm going to keep my anger and impatience at bay. I am going to only eat God's foods and meditate. I am going to stick to my chore list and stop procrastinating."

And then the second entry is usually something along the lines of:

"I totally pigged today.. then felt horrible and bummed around all day feeling like crap."

Annnnnnnd that's right about the time I get the desire to buy a NEW journal and try again.. and again.. and again.. I have to be on journal 500 by now.. I have to be! I used to chuck them.. but about a year or two ago I forced myself to store them in a draw instead.. and then a box.. and then another box.. and.. now I have a lot of half empty journals scattered everywhere throughout my house.. and the really sad part is THEY ARE CARBON COPIES OF EACH OTHER!!!!! LOL I mean not really.. but they are so similar it's ridiculous!

Crazy I am.

But whatevs.. I'm harmless..

This little rant was inspired because I am going to go back on my vegan diet.. I tried it out in January and it lasted four months.. but then I caved in to buffalo chicken and all the other yummy foods I love to devour..

My problem is that I don't enjoy the actual meat.. I enjoy the flavorings.. so it's just not worth it to be a part of the horrors associated with factory farming or any kind of slaughter and torture of millions of animals.. I'll add my buffalo sauce to something else..

I mean.. if we lived back in the day.. when the men would hunt and the women would cook a kill I'd be all over it! I don't think that eating meat is necessarily bad.. it's just the way that meat is obtained in our day and age that just seems sinful.. The animals are abused.. and I wouldn't abuse my dog or a stray cat.. so why am I contributing and encouraging the continuation of it by purchasing the meat..

and you know what really sucks.. I am forever looking for the cheapest package of meats.. I need chicken cutlets.. I go the chicken section and pick the cheapest meat that suits my needs..

and THAT is why factory farming exists and why they pump the chickens full of steroids - so I can have a big pack of chicken breasts.. for the cheapest price..

I don't know.. I hate to be a preachy gal.. I really do.. especially since I just ate meat every day for almost my whole life! ha!

I just want to aspire to be the best me..

and I think a meat free diet is so much better for the environment and for my body because I do believe that a meat free diet is also healthier.. and if I fail to do it.. so be it!

I fail every day at something or other.. but trying to be better is what I do.. and you know what.. overall I DO succeed at that goal! I used to be a semi-violent person.. throw stuff when me and Frank would fight.. I have gotten out of my car to scream at people more times than I can count.. I used to curse all the time.. I've dumped several very unhealthy habits..

But I'm growing up.. and maturing.. and getting calmer.. and healthier.. and most importantly.. getting HAPPIER..

so um yeah.. that's my new crazy idea.. GO VEGAN!

PS.. last time I went vegan.. I switched to soy milk (rice milk is so much better!) and Ayden called it "soil" milk.. not to be funny.. just because that's what he thought I called it.. He would say "Can I have real milk. I don't like soil milk." haha..

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Mom's Break In

My mom was just robbed.. She comes and visits us every Tuesday and Friday.. sleeps over and leaves early in the morning.. she lives 40 minutes south of us.. her and her best friend Monica live in a senior community.. they are both widows.. and they were both living with their kids for a while.. and just wanted to be out on their own.. they're both young 60s.. love bingo.. love Atlantic City.. they bowl.. its a great little community..

Well, Monica got home this morning (after sleeping at her daughters house) and called my mom and said someone broke in through their back glass porch..

My moms a wreck.. obviously.. so am I..

She wasn't sure what they took.. but Monica did tell her (she hadn't made it home yet! Monica called her as she was on her way home from sleeping here last night) that her jewelery box was stolen..

She had my dad's wedding band in there.. and her ring they got married in.. she was wearing the set Frank and I bought her on what would've been their 40th anniversary.. the summer my dad died..

She's a mess.. I want to go see her.. but I have to get the boys from school.. plus I have the baby.. but I would take him.. I think.. I don't know.. he might be freaked with both of us crying..

You know it was a druggy.. who else breaks into houses other than desparate addicts who would do anything for their fix?!?!

Just another reason I HATE DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to call her.. but I don't want to bother her if she's still talking to the cops.. I wish I could be there for her..

So sad..

God Saved My Marriage

I was just reading my favorite blog "Kelly's Korner" and she mentioned her friend was struggling to have a child.. and that her friend was struggling with not finding a husband.. and she asked her readers to hop on over and read or give inspirational stories about how God can and HAS changed lives that seemed so sad in a "nano second".. and I wanted to share my stories as well..

My husband and I met and were married less than 12 weeks later.. I had already been married to my high school boyfriend.. who I had a child with.. and then divorced when Gavin turned 1.. so here I was 22 and on my SECOND marriage.. Honestly, after that divorce I kind of felt as though no one would ever want me.. I had baggage.. not only a failed marriage but a child too!

And then Frank walked in my life and fell head over heels in love me..

We eloped and moved out of state and got an apartment hundred of miles away from all of our family and friends.. (we were both pretty lonely at the time and didn't feel we were missing anything by moving)

Well, it turned out to be the worst three years of my life! I regretted getting married.. as did he.. I thought he was mature and willing to step up to the plate.. I mean he knew I had a child.. I was looking for a mature relationship where we could be a family (Gavin was almost three when we eloped) a man who was a hard worker, I was a work horse at the time..

But Frank wasn't ready for that life yet.. he had just turned 22 and wanted to work as little as possible, play games in his free time, and just be mr. happy chill..

Meanwhile our bills were not getting paid.. he was sleeping late, calling out of work.. I was bashing him, calling him a bum.. oh, and he drank at the time..

I really considered divorce, but how friggen embarrassing to go back home and tell all my friends and family that my second marriage failed!!!!! Plus Gavin just loved him to pieces from day one.. he has always been a kid at heart and that equals a great dad!

Then after I had had enough.. I packed up all my stuff and moved back in with my parents.. sniffle sniffle..

We talked almost daily.. well, we screamed at each other daily.. we both felt this strong love for one another.. but our desires and needs couldn't survive on obsession..

After 3 months.. he followed me to NJ.. the one thing, the TWO things I was adament about was that he (1) quit drinking and (2) work full time on the books..

He had some requests for me as well.. stop calling him names, stop screaming, stop nagging, basically stop being a crazy person.. ha!

We both agree and stuck to our word.. and a new marriage was born.. a marriage that I never thought I'd get.. I cried and screamed to God from my bathroom floor while Frank was on the other side screaming at me.. so many nights! The cops were called a few times.. some by me, some by my neighbors who must've been pretty scared for my son.. it's something we went through.. we can never take any of it back.. but we are so grateful that it is a distant memory and no longer the depressed state that was our lives for years..

Monday, October 4, 2010


I was taking Philosophy last semester.. and we touched on the subject of doing good deeds.. and were they really for the receiver of the good deed.. orrrrr was it to make the giver of such deed to get rewarded with the feeling that comes with it??

I'm leaning more on the side of it's for the giver's satisfaction.. but, what harm is done.. none! In fact, there is always someone receiving something.. I say it's a win-win.. but I am having issues with it lately..

We have sponsored a little boy in Etheopia for about a year now.. and I wonder if I did it to really help these strangers.. or to just feel good about myself.. then, the other issue I have is that I sort of feel like I'm doing it so God likes me.. and that's really the main issue I'm currently having..


With Frank being out of work lately.. I have prayed more than I have in years.. and I'm praying to ask for MORE blessings (more money).. when I already have so many!! A house, two cars, three healthy happy kind children, a loyal and loving husband, my mom is my best friend, plenty of clothes, and so much more..

So I told myself when Frank got a job, I'd sponsor another child.. I mean, for $38 a month (which I compare to a gym pass we wouldn't use or some other meaningless $40 purchase) I am truly helping a family pay their $6 rent, and provide food that may not otherwise be there, and the child gets an education, it's so worth it!!

Well, Friday, I decided that I shouldn't wait for Frank to get a job, and I sponsored another child. Well, she's more like a woman. Her name is Theresia and she's 17. Both her parents work, and she's above average in school, and I just felt like maybe because of her age she had given up hope of being sponsored, plus what if our contribution allows her to attend college (or whatever further education they have) and what if that changes her life?! How amazing!

But did I secretly do it just so that God then feels I'm deserving of Him allowing Frank to find a job? I am pretty sure that is NOT the case.. but I do think that God would much rather I do good as opposed to not helping others out.. so then it DOES matter to Him..

Honestly, I'm just an overanalizer and none of this matters.. Point is.. we now are making God more proud than we were last week when I was just "thinking" about sponsoring as opposed to actually "doing" it.. but I know He loves me whether I help more child or stop helping the two I already help.. there isn't really any bribing the Lord..

I do most definitely get pleasure out of sponsoring though.. I LOVE it.. ... check it out!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Little Realness

this is my fake blog.. ha! it really is.. I only write the good stuff on here because it's not private..

My other one is too viscous though.. Frank's unemployment ran out 9 or 10 weeks ago.. and I did great being supportive for a while.. but the past two weeks have not been pleasant.. at all..

I'm pretty good about not fighting in front of the kids.. not that we even hardly argue.. but if I'm cranky or he is one day.. I usually just stay mute to defuse the situation and a few minutes later.. it's all good..

But not lately.. I'm screaming at the kids.. truth be told.. I'm even cursing.. If Frank pisses me off even a little bit.. I bring up his unemployment.. which he's already bummed about.. and it's not like he's not looking.. I just get ticked he's not looking more!

Then I regret it.. and he totally forgives me because he feels he put us in this shitty situation.. but I hate adding to his stress..


It's been a rough two years.. that's how long he was on unemployment.. he thought it'd be sooooo easy to get a job.. I am pretty sour about it all.. I so want to go off on him right now.. not in person.. just on the blog.. but.. his mother reads this for updates on the kids.. lol.. (Hi Carol! Thanks for helping us out!)

And then it's like.. why fight and stress because it is going to end soon.. it's to the point where if he needs to take two jobs that pay crap.. he will.. but I don't think it'll come to that.. he drove trucks at his last job.. and he's been doing construction for ever.. so I'm sure he'll find something along those lines.. although I thought that for the past two months..

I just don't want it to be like.. he gets a job and then I'm like .. oh, well in that case I'll be nice again.. I want to be nice even when the bad times are here..

I can't wait to see what God has for our future.. I really hope it's not a crap job.. I'd hate for him to have to commute an hour away.. or make crap pay that doesn't make it worth his time.. He'll take anything that pays the bills.. I just want him to have some left over being as he's going to be working his tail off for it.. am I asking too much? So many people are dealing with true tragedies and I want Frank's commute to be comfortable and for him to not only pay the bills, but have extra money too..

I don't pray often.. I just don't get it.. How can I possibly feel comfortable asking God for anything when so many people have it so much worse.. like how dare I ask for MORE than I already have? Plus, another thing I don't get is.. God has it all figured out.. He has a plan for us.. so why ask for favors.. when maybe what I should be doing is waiting patiently for His plan to play out, no? yeah.. I don't get that.. plus.. what do you say?!? All I ever say is Thank You.. and then I list what I'm thankful for.. anywho.. I should get some rest..

Happy October Eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Nine Year Anniversary

Today is my nine year dating anniversary.. I wonder if many people celebrate their "dating" anniversary.. I don't think too many people do because my girlfriends and my mom make fun of me for it.. but the hubs is totally down so.. we do..

Yeah so.. yesterday Frank comes home with a huge bouquet of flowers.. balloons.. and a heart shaped plaque that reads "The Love of My Life".. and actually I totally forgot about our anniversary.. which is so out of character for me.. in fact this was the first time I've ever forgotten any (we have 3) anniversary.. I thought he was just being nice.. then I read the balloons.. how funny right?! Normally people get in trouble for forgetting an anniversary, but Frank liked it.. he had one up on me..

I can't believe we've been together for NINE years!! We got married less than 3 months after our first date.. insane.. and THEN.. we packed up all our belongings, my son, and my dog and got into a U-Haul and drove south.. without a destination!!! Our parents were none too pleased to say the least.. what a crazy time!

But here we are.. more in love than ever.. sappy sap sap I know.. but it's true.. even though I wanna punch him in the face sometimes.. hahaha..


ok.. I was ganna end it there.. but I have GOT to explain the *WINK*

September 22, 2001.. Frank and I were both stationed at Fort Meade, MD.. he had been recently assigned to the office I worked in.. he came up to me and handed me a yellow sticky with his phone number on it.. and said sutten like.. if you ever wanna hang out.. give me a call..

So I did what any girl propositioned with a hotties number would do.. I called two of my guy friends and asked them to come over that night to play cards.. then called Frank and was like.. heyyyy.. I'm having some people over tonight if you wanna come by.. ha! It was all a set up..

So the four of us hung out.. playing cards and drinking some.. and the other two guys eventually crashed.. but Frank and I stayed up all night getting to know one another.. we kissed here and there.. but I was so guarded.. he was SO cute.. I just knew he only wanted one thing.. because I was so insecure I didn't believe he could actually like me.. and then.. somewhere in the wee hours he said.. I think I'm falling in love with you.. and that was it.. I was irate! actually.. I was more humilated.. because what a BS line.. that just proved he only wanted one thing! I kept telling him to shut up and said "You're just drunk!" even though I knew he wasn't because we didn't even drink that much.. and he was like.. no seriously.. so to end the awkwardness I just said.. ok, if you still feel the same way tomorrow.. tell me then..

And he said.. How about I'll wink at you! I'm like what?.. and he insisted that he would wink at me the next day.. and that would prove that he was falling for me.. so whatever.. we eventually fell asleep.. and the next day at the office.. I REFUSED to look at him.. because then what if he thought "OMG.. does she really think I was serious? What a dork!" haha.. He tried making eye contact with me, but I was avoiding it like the plague!

So he sent me an email.. and all it said was:


We eloped less than 12 weeks later.. and here we are.. NINE YEARS LATER!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Not Me Monday

NOT ME MONDAY is a fun little game that MckMama started.. love this game actually! Wanna join?? Head on over to her bloggidy blog and link up!

I did not barter some time on my laptop today for a massage from my 11 year old son. I would never bribe him or dangle a carrot above his head.

I did not make my two older boys go outside in a drizzle to eat their frozen yogurts because I didn’t want the baby to scream for one. I would never make my children stand outside in the cold, without shirts just to avoid cleaning up a mess.

I did not eat the rest of the cookies for breakfast so that they wouldn’t be able to temp me throughout the day.

I did not wake up this morning at 5:55am to my middle son screaming that there was a squirrel in his room! Nope, not me! Hahahaha… (no really, you have to read the previous post about that one!)

Ma!! There's a squirrel in my room!

Rainy day.. loving the cool breeze though.. I miss opening my windows and doors and getting fresh air in the house.. I'm not a fan of the AC.. I mean we use it everyday.. but it's not central air.. it's window air conditioners so if you sit by them, your freezing.. plus I'm not a fan of the energy or money used to run them..

So um yeah.. I'm ready for fall.. I don't like wishing for the future.. but.. I so want the boys to be back in school.. and for Frank to have a legit jobby job.. I guess thats more for my need of routine more than anything tho.. and my sanity.. and money.. lol


ummm... Ethan just threw a diaper at me.. TWICE!! Nasty little boy.. He was wearing it.. though didn't pee in it yet.. I'm trying to take it off to put undies on him.. he's been doing great with the potty training! But for some reason he's ticked I took it off..

He pretty much is potty trained (pee, not poop) so long as he is naked.. if he doesn't have anything on.. he knows to sit on the potty.. or tell me so I can take him to the big potty..

But the second he has shorts or undies on.. I guess he feels like he's in a diaper.. so he goes in his pants.. So that's today's mission - to get him potty trained while in clothes.. cause this whole naked thing really gets in the way.. my girlfriend has a young daughter.. the poor neighbors.. and us!! The other day he stood up at the dinner table.. not. appropriate. lol


So this morning Ayden woke me up at 5:55am screaming and hysterical crying.. I was so frazzled that I ran to him without even grabbing my glasses.. which means everything was SOOOOOOOO blurry.. I am seriously close to being blind.. I'd be in "bottle capped" glasses that make my eyes look like two little freckles except (A) technology has changed and they fixed that problem for the most part and (B) I usually wear my contacts..

but anywho.. so I go sit on his bed and..

I'm like "Shhh.. what's the matter?"

Ayden: "There's a squirrel in my room!"

Me: "No baby, it was just a dream."

Ayden: "NOOOOOO!!!!! It's RIGHT THERE!!!!" *as he points to the corner of his room*

Me: "Ayden, I can't see. Is there seriously a squirrel in here?"

Ayden: "YES!!!! It's right there!"

I'm freaking!! What the hell am I ganna do.. I got this rabies infested animal in my kids room.. I can't friggen see.. It's so early I can't scream and wake Frank or Gavin up.. Aiy yi yi..

After a few minutes I thought to throw something in that corner and hope he runs off so I can at least go get my glasses and better assess the situation..

I grab the pack of wipes and chuck it.. and

Ayden says "Ohhhh, it was just the garbage bag."


*Rolls Eyes*

Sigh.. my father would say something along the lines of.. "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree." ha!

Thursday, August 12, 2010


These top two aren't even from Disney.. but I think they're cute.. lol.. plus Ethan has his Disney shirt on so..

I love my A dawg..

There were several groups - like class trips - and when I was snapping this one of Ethan.. a girl from Brazil (I think) came up to him and made the biggest fuss over him.. as though she had never seen a blue eyes blonde before.. I was a proud mama.. lol

Love my Gavers...

He was so afraid to be on Frank's shoulders.. I kept saying "Sit up." so I could take the pic and he was freaked.. lol.. he was like "No! Just take the picture already!" lol

This is my favorite of them all.. too bad their strollers aren't cuter tho..

Doesn't he look like a girl striking a pose? hehe

This is another fave.. love my little men..

Could they look any more miserable?? It was soo hot.. Great vacation no doubt.. but exhausting for sure!

This might be his last photo of him with his long hair.. oh no wait.. cause after I cut his bangs WAY too short I took a picture of him looking like Dumb & Dumber.. oh, it was bad!! hence the faux hawk in the first pic.. though it was falling by the time we got to the park..

This was outside Caribe Cove Resort..

Goober.. haha!

Sk8r Room Redo

*Big ol SIGH*

I should research ADD and ADHD.. I think, from what I've heard, that I have one of them.. I can't finish one thing because my brain stops mid way through to focus on sutten else.. I should go get me some Ginkobaloba.. or maybe I should start meditating.. cause meditating is so feasible with these kids of mine.. especially Ethan who is inches away from me banging on a metal bank with a plastic hammer..

I just finished my summer semester.. which included Chemistry.. I've never taken Chem before.. HOLY CRUD was it hard.. like.. really really really hard.. so after my final exam.. guess what I did..

I didn't relax.. didn't take the kids out back or to the park.. no.

After a stressful semester and I finally get to chill.. I decided to rearrange the boys' rooms and put Gavin in his own room.. and the two little ones together.. and I did this all alone.. well.. I had the nuggets under my feet the whole time.. but I meant alone as far as help goes..

I wrote in my journal last night that it was the most stressful day I've had in the past year.. and I meant it!

Undoing the beds and the cribs.. redoing them.. blah blah blah...

Woe is me, I know.. *rolls eyes* haha..

I'm done with the younger two's room.. mainly because I've already spent plenty of time decorating in there.. but the baby's old room (Gavin's new one) was boring.. nothing fun going on in there..

So I'm going to paint the walls light gray.. and then I took poster paper and drew a skater outline.. and then I'm going to trace it on the gray paint.. and color them in Navy blue.. and then another one in red..

Oh, and I went to Five Below and got little kid skateboards and I'm going to use them for shelves.. It's ganna be super cute.. but alot of work too..

I did most of the outline for the skater.. but I can't get the head and one arm to look good.. *hence the blog break*

I can't wait.. heyyyyyyyyyyyyy.. I don't think I posted my Disney pics yet.. GASP.. I gotta do that.. now.. (there goes that ADD again) Maybe all us moms have it.. at least moms with young kids.. well, at least moms with young demanding kids!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Jobs and Jogs

My stomach is in knots.. Frank's going to fill out an application for some truck drivin job delivering ice today.. his friend works there and thinks he's a shoe-in, but I'm not one to count my chickens before they hatch.. It would be so great, it's local enough.. no more stressing about looking for a job.. I'm a nervous-nelly by nature.. I need to do some yoga.. lol

Speaking of which.. totally have been running a mile and a half every day (except Monday) since last Thursday.. *pats self on back*

I'm loving it.. Monday I was too tired after a day at the boardwalk and waterpark with the kids.. plus all the crap I ate.. and I went to bed feeling like I couldn't wait until the next day to run again..

My mom came to visit yesterday so me and Frank went running together.. I felt like I had a personal body guard.. haha

Going to try and get my schoolwork done ASAP.. semester is over August 11th.. but I'm trying to get it all done this week.. next week at the latest.. that'll be a HUGE stress reliever to not have assignments due for the next few weeks.. I can't wait! I bought a great book to occupy my free time "Women, Food, and God" or something like that.. ok.. I'm rambling now.. time to do sutten productive.. ta ta

Monday, July 26, 2010

De Ja Vu

My three boys are all five years apart, give or take a few months.. Gavin is in the final stages of not fighting with Ayden about ridiculous mumbo jumbo like:

"MOM! He won't stop copying me! Every time I sit down, he sits down, every time I walk into another room, he follows me."

My typical response: "Well, go sit down and don't do anything.. and he'll get bored and leave you alone."

Gavin JUST stopped comparing who got more soda in their cup at dinnertime.. at least I THINK he stopped doing that.. maybe he just learned to hide it well so he didn't have to hear my mouth about it..

Oh, or what about when Ayden says something that is just completely ridiculous.. like:

Ayden: "Two plus two equals five."

Gavin: "No Ayden, it's four."

Ayden: "Noooo. It's FIVE!"

Gavin: "Ayden, I'm older than you. Trust me it's four."

Ayden: "Noooooooooooooooo! I'm smarter than you. It's five!"

Gavin: "Moooooom! Ayden is saying that two plus two equals five!"

But now.. Gavin has learned to just ignore Ayden's nonsense.. which is awesome for me.

Yeah so, the point is that these nonsensical arguments are becoming few and far between..

and then God decided that my life needed a bit more pizazz.. or maybe he just needed a good laugh.. because now Ayden is the Gavin and Ethan is the Ayden..


I was walking the baby in the stroller a few weeks ago.. and this older lady walking with her husband said "Enjoy these years. They're the best time of your life." And I must say.. I really do disagree with her.. I think the best years of my life are ganna be when the boys are 16, 11, and 6..


1. I could sleep in past 8 am

2. I could take them all to dinner and have it not resemble anything like taking Ethan and Ayden out to dinner (ie: kids under the table or standing up in their chairs.. food thrown on the floor, fits being had, screams being screamed, and so on and so forth)

3. Me and Frank could join another bowling league since we won't need a sitter

4. Me and Frank could go out on dates without having to inconvenience my mom to sit

5. I could leave the boys home alone and go shopping or to lunch with my friends or get my hair and nails done

6. I could lay in the pool, alone, without a toddler on my hip

7. I could eat a meal or even a snack without having to share it

8. My house will be less trashed with milk drops scattered on the floor, toys, crumbs, wipies scattered all over the house (Ethan has a love for wipies - he calls them "bit bits" and rubs them on his face every time he has a bottle), and other toddler little boy crud

9. I will have four extra hands to do chores (I already have Gavin's two)


1. No more Ethan making funny faces while he fake sings

2. No more Ethan dancing at the intro to cartoons

3. No more Ayden wanting to marry me

4. No more sick babies wanting to lay on my chest

5. No more cherub faces looking at me as if they couldn't love me any more

6. Gavin driving (fear and car insurance)

7. No more cheaper kids meals

8. Clothes will be so much more expensive (name brands)

9. Girl troubles and broken hearts

Pros def outweigh the cons.. but I really should get Ethan and Ayden on video camera soon.. like immediately.. because they are so friggen cute.. Gav is too of course.. but he's already 11.. I am referring to little boy stages.. not pre-teen craziness..

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Time to Blog again

I really need to get my life OR GAN IZED!!

School is so discombobulated.. the house has not been getting cleaned properly.. The boys haven't been played with enough.. I just need to.. organize.. and I'm thinking this blog is going to help.. man.. I don't know why I stopped blogging.. well, actually I do.. it's because I have this awkward relationship with journals.. in which I LOVE to write in them.. but when I go back and read them.. I'm not like.. "Wow.. I love that girl!" ha! I'm more like.. "I should go buy a new journal and start fresh.. and this time.. no more complaining.. and no more writing about food or my weight.." The worse feeling of all is when I go back and read in my journal and I see all the pages that emphatically say "Tomorrow is the day!" and then a few pages later its obvious that I didn't in fact change ANY my bad habits.. yeah.. that will most certainly send me to the store to purchase a pretty new journal in which to start fresh in.. *sigh*

I have at least 20 journals in my room that are only partially written in.. and I use the word "partially" very literally.. I probably write in about 20 pages.. and then buy a new one a few weeks later.. The reason I only have 20 is because at first I was throwing the old ones out.. I have tossed hundreds of journals..

I did that with this blog too.. I created one.. got a pretty little background.. wrote tons of stuff.. then got real insecure about what I wrote.. and deleted those specific posts.. but then I just cancelled it because I kept setting up goals for myself and not accomplishing them.. I felt like a total loser.. which is NOT what I need in my life.. so I cut off the source..

But then I just went back to paper journals.. and I probably will keep one of those too.. but this online blog is soooooo much easier.. you can save.. delete.. post pictures.. and maybe best of all.. "meet" other young moms who feel the same way as I do..

So.. I'm going to revamp my blog.. I'm going to make it look perty.. update it with photos of my family.. it'll be great..

Friday, June 4, 2010

Naked Boy

Just thought I should log on and record some stories before I forget them..

Ethan is potty training.. sort of.. he is constantly taking off his diaper and even though I tell him "Noooo!" he does it anyway. While staring at me. So then I have this naked child running around my house all day.. so I figured I'd give it a go..

We've been letting him run around without a diaper for about a week now.. and he sits on the potty and goes pee pee about twice a day.. and then about 3 times a day I'm cleaning up puddles.. what can ya do..

The child absolutely refuses to wear a diaper.. come nap time or bedtime.. he takes off his shorts, then unbuttons his onesies.. and then takes off his diaper.. I actually didn't even mind wet sheets once or twice a day.. but then we had the dreaded #2 incident.. and ever since.. I have been ducktaping his diapers on him.. end of story.. I will definitely get a picture of that tomorrow.. I hope..

So um yeah.. he's a character.. oh and he LOVES watching "Who let the dogs out" by Baha men.. and "Single Ladies" by Beyonce.. he must say "oh oh oh" (chorus to Single Ladies) at least a dozen times a day.. it's hysterical.. when he wants to watch the videos on you tube.. he points to my laptop and says "woo woo?" because that's his way of saying woof woof..

**** ugh.. !!!!!! my hand accidentally erased everything I just wrote.. I'm too tired to retype it..

Note to self: Ethan calling Shelby Fu and Gavin with the older ladies..

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Looooooongest Post ever

I often don't post because I'm too lazy to upload the photos that should be accompanying said post.. but I have the worst memory of anyone I know.. but I don't that many people so.. so before I forget this week's stories...

I started saying prayers with the boys about a month or two ago.. mostly Ayden.. because he always ends up in my bed.. and before I send him back on his way.. I suggest we say our prayers.. ACTUALLY...

A few months ago.. say four, five??.. whatever.. I kept telling myself to start praying with the boys.. but it was so odd for me since at the time I wasn't even praying myself.. but day after day.. week after week.. I'd forget until they were asleep.. then one day at lunch.. Ayden said to me "Mom! We forgot to say our prayers!"

Which totally blew my mind because I hadn't mentioned that I in fact wanted to start that.. I took that as a sign that I definitely needed to start saying prayers with them..

Gavin rarely joins us.. probably because I feel awkward praying in front of him.. and I feel like I'm making him feel awkward by asking him to pray.. anywho..

So me and Ayden have been praying before bed more nights than not.. and I love it.. he is SO fricken cute!!!

We do the "Now I lay me down to sleep..." prayer and then we just tell God what we're thankful for.. or at least that's what I do.. Ayden sometimes does this.. and other times he asks for favors..

For example.. "Thank you God for my family. I love them. And please let tomorrow morning be Christmas."

Gavin was in my room with Ayden the other night and so he joined us.. I went first and said my thanks.. to include "And please God, give me the strength to not beat my children." to make the fellas laugh and lighten the mood.. my father once said something that seemed so offensive to God one day.. and I was like "Dad, that is not funny." and he laughed even harder than he had been and said "Oh please! God has a sense of humor."

Up until that point (I was around 9) it had never crossed my mind that "God" would have a sense of humor.. he was just total serious God.. but ever since.. I totally believe God is okay with being talked to like a friend.. especially when it involves making my children laugh (like with my prayer request.)

Whew.. I'm all over the place tonight.. yeesh.. ok.. so what was I saying?? Oh yeah.. Gavin's prayers.. yeah so his prayer went something like "Thank you God for our house and all the food we have. And thank you God for making my Nanny not be dead." I don't think he was done.. but me and Ayden started hysterical laughing that we interrupted him.. my dad died four years ago.. so he was being serious.. but the way it came out was so funny..


Sooo.. Gavin got his report card on Thursday.. he has like 10 teachers.. it's crazy.. English, Math, Science, Language Arts, History, Computers, Phys Ed, and I don't even know what other classes.. oh Wood Shop.. anywho.. 7 out of ten comments were "Pleasure to have in class." Two were "Average Work" and one, Science, was "Inappropriate Behavior" YIKES!!

At first I was ticked.. but then I'm like.. wait a second.. if every other teacher is telling me he is a "Pleasure to have in class" just how bad could he be??? I decided to not mention it to Gavin and instead email the teacher asking what exactly was he doing...

Well, I didn't email her that night and the next day was the Science Fair.. and of course I saw his teacher.. but I had Ethan on my hip and it was a madhouse.. all the kids were showing their friends their projects.. and the parents made the area even more cramped.. I was sort of embarrassed to even see her being as I am now the "mother of the child who has inappropriate behavior" and I swear she peeked at me from the corner of her eye.. which made me wanna leave even sooner.. she was making her rounds to each student and grading them.. I wanted to stay and support Gav, but Ethan was getting fussy.. so I kissed him and said good bye.. but then I realized his turn was next.. so I stayed.. a few feet away so the teacher could do her thing.. she walked up to him and said "Ok Gavin, let's hear it." kind of coldly.. but then again I'm biased..

He gave his presentation, she took his picture.. which then reminded me to take MY picture of him.. and then I redid my good bye and left..

Rewind.. he had to stay after on Thursday to finish his tri-fold (their presentations were done on tri folds.. duh.. I'd show you the picture.. but that'll have to be in the next post.. anywho) so after he got home late.. I asked how'd he do, he said fine.. I said "What did Ms. Green say?" (meaning what did the teacher say about his project) He goes "She said it was ok." I didn't say anything to him, but in my mind I'm thinking.. just "ok"? ha!

There were 60 students who did Science projects.. and the top 10 were going to win a trip to the Science Museum this upcoming Friday instead of having to go to classes.. and my Gavin WON!! woo hoo!!! I'm so proud.. and to think this teacher is the one who wrote "inappropriate behavior" .. I did not think she was picking him.. I'm so happy for him.. how awesome right.. it's nice to win, let alone miss school! And to boot.. his best friend Robert won too.. and they're not even in the same class so they hardly see each other in school.. but come Friday.. they'll be chillin all day..

Ok, seriously need to stop writing the longest post ever.. I just can't sleep.. too much caffeine?? Anywho.. those are this week's memories..

Monday, May 17, 2010

It's Electric..

I stumbled upon Ayden's old tent in the baby's room today.. so I told Gavin to set it up out back.. figuring they'd amuse themselves for a bit.. apparently I forgot just how destructive Ethan is.. because that tent could hardly even be built without him beating it apart..

You should have SEEN his crazy mop top.. His hair was sooooo out of control static-y.. I took some pics but they don't do it any justice.. it looked so much crazier in person..

Ayden is a little ham.. so he was feeling shafted after I snapped so many pics of Ethan.. so I told him "Well, stop moving if you want me to take your pic." and THIS is what I got (after he said "Hold on! Lemme stick my swords in my back!":

And THIS is for Grandma because I have been a slacker with updating this blog.. Enjoy!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Summer Time

I just submitted my final essays for the semester.. And I am so not taking classes this summer.. unt uh.. no how.. I have taken two classes every semester.. summers included for the last five years.. minus last summer.. and that was because I was babysitting my friend's daughter.. soooo basically what I'm trying to say is.. on top of my three rug rats.. I haven't had a break in five years.. I'd say I'm due!

How funny is it that my "break" is going to consist of me taking care of my three kids 24/7 for the entire summer.. ha! Most people need a "break" from THAT!


We had a few HOT days here in area.. someone was BBQing and it smelled so good.. So good in fact that Frank ran to the grocery store for some steak, chicken, and shrimp.. and that is quite rare for Frank to be in the grocery store.. He probably goes 4 times a year.. and NEVER buys more than 5 items.. He has never gone actual food shopping.. He's got it maid made like that.. but anywho.. yeah so we grilled.. the kids played with the hose and water guns.. then we opened the pool.. which is super early.. but they went in it yesterday and today.. and prolly every day until we close it.. Frank even takes them in it when it rains.. I think that is something they will always remember..


Friday, April 23, 2010

Good Vibrations

I just deleted my two posts about Gavin getting into trouble at school.. and the consequences that followed.. I don't want this blog to be a place where I vent the good and the bad.. I'd rather just focus on all the wonderful things in my life.. which essentially is just my family.. I want to have the boys look at this when they get old and smile.. just as I sat and smiled looking through my parents big old photo albums hundreds of times as a young child..


Ayden has his first tee ball practice tomorrow.. he's never been enrolled in any sort of sport or anything of the sorts ever.. bad mom, I know.. especially since Gavin has done it all - karate 2x, cooking class, art class, baseball, basketball, drama.. I guess because he was my first so he didn't have any siblings to play with.. it was just me and Frank.. not even any family or friends because we lived outta state when he was growing up.. but Ayden doesn't have that quiet, boring household.. his is pure chaos.. PLUS I have tons of girlfriends with young children so the kid has play dates every week.. but he just turned 6.. so the time has come..

He thinks it's going to be like the pros on tv.. not because he watches the pros on tv.. but because he's really good at Wii Baseball.. LOL.. He's like "Ma, I'm ganna hit a home run cause that's what I do on Wii Sports!" oh boy..

Ayden, Ayden..

Oh, so check this out..

My DVD player sucks and skips all the time.. my mom keeps saying she's ganna buy me a new one.. and I keep telling her I can buy my own.. I just NEVER remember it when I'm out.. so anywho.. I was watching Penelope the other day with my mom and didn't wanna hear her mouth about it skipping.. so I hooked up the portable DVD player to the television and whalah.. no skipping!!! Except for some odd reason my tv doesn't have the three little holes (very technically talk, sorry) color coded!!! You know the red, yellow, and white.. so I had to mess with them.. but after two or three tries I got it working..

So tonight me and Ayd were ganna watch a movie and I had to hook it up again.. and I tested my boy wonder.. and he passed!!!

He's like seriously really smart.. like really.. since he was two he has just shown everyone that he has a brilliant memory.. and memory is knowledge.. duh.. hehe

At conferences, his teacher said "He is the only one who can do..." and "He's very smart!" and then she said "The only negative comment is that he has no self control." haha!! Yes, THAT is my Ayden.. smart.. but insanely hyper.. anywho..

So, knowing that I have a smarty pants I often test him.. so tonight I said.. "Ut oh! There's no colors. Do you know which order they go?" and he goes "White, yellow, red."

I'm like "How do you know that?"

He said "Cause that's how it is when I play my video games."

Which may seem like a no brainer to you.. except, hellewww.. I'm 31 and I have plugged those little plugs into many of video games for my children, and dvd players, and so on and so forth.. but did I ever memorize the order? Nooo...

And honestly.. I might forget it all over again..

Sorry Gavin.. you got your mama's memory.. but that's okay.. cause you are so much easier to handle than your crazy little brother.. hehe.. well.. except when you skip school projects and mouth off to adults.. *wink*

Ok, I've vented enough.. let's see if I can go to bed yet.. ta ta

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Yin & Yang

The boys have been really trying my nerves this past week.. Gavin is so bossy to Ayden.. Ayden IS without a doubt annoying as hell.. but still.. I feel so bad because he looks up to Gavin SOOO much.. he wishes his name was Gavin.. he wishes he was as tall as Gavin.. he wants to be in 5th grade like Gavin.. etc..

I concluded that my children.. well the older two.. have two primary flaws each.. Gavin is slow and forgetful.. and Ayden is loud and can't sit still.. these two characteristics get them into trouble 80% of the time.. if not more..

I'll ask Gavin to get me something.. and he slowly saunters off.. and actually A LOT of the times.. he'll come back to me a few minutes later and say something along the lines of "Ma, what did you want me to get?" HENCE, his second major flaw of being forgetful.. that child "forgot" where the coffee pot was when he was like 8.. NO LIE.. I asked him to grab me sutten "by the coffee pot" (mind you the coffee pot HAS NEVER MOVED.. EVER!) and he sauntered off into the kitchen.. dumbfounded.. came back a minute later and was like "Where's the coffee pot?" I was so irate.. I was like "Uhh.. why don't you ask your THREE year old brother where it is.. because I'm sure HE knows!" and sure as shit.. Ayden was like "Iss white here Gavin." and pointed to the counter.. sigh..

And then Ayden is the complete opposite.. he can remember more than me.. which really isn't saying much.. because I'm forgetful.. (wonder where Gavin gets it from?) I have seriously asked Ayden questions about some song.. or a show.. or a story.. anything.. and he remembers it.. all the time. Last year for Saint Valentine's Day.. they had to send in cards to school.. Ayden was able to tell me there were 16 kids in his class.. and he knew this (according to him) because Monday through Thursday, three kids have show-and-tell, but on Friday, four do. AND of course, Mr. Memory told me which kid had it on which day of the week..

Gavin rambled off the names of his classmates as well.. but later on that night he mentioned a story with some kid with a very unusual name.. I forget what it was.. but I asked if that kid was in his class and Gavin said yes.. BUT he hadn't made our list earlier.. so Gavin was sent to school with a few extra blank St. Valentine's Day cards.. ha!

Gavin is calm and quiet.. always has been.. for the most part.. Ayden, however, can't sit still.. he is always sliding, jumping, bouncing, hopping, dancing.. Yin and Yang those two are!!

I wonder what Ethan will be like in a few years..